A FORCED ARRANGED MARRIAGE || KTH ✔︎

Chapter 20

#skiptime : a few months later : [y/n's pov]

"I am at the airport to pick Ella up. Her flight can land any minute. So make sure you take care of the work" "Yes, Boss. Don't worry ''''Okay", saying that I cut the call.

Time passes by so fast, right? But I still wonder if I moved on with the time or not...everything that has happened in my life has left me with lots of scars and cuts which can't be cured no matter how many dressings you put on them.

Today, Ella is going to return back from Australia. The last time I saw Ella was after that tragic incident which ended up ruining my whole life. I don't even feel like talking about that incident anymore..the more I think about that day the more miserable I feel..the more helpless I get and more it gets hard to breathe.

I still can't forgive myself for what happened that day. He d!ed because of me...it was all my fault. I am the reason why he is not in this world anymore...he is not with me anymore. I still love him...I know I am an idiot...if he was here with me he would have hated me. I am the cause behind everything he went through but...i never loved anyone like I loved him...i never did..

The thought still haunts me that I lost my last chance to tell him how I actually feel for him...he was always there like a shadow in the dark protecting me from evil. But I failed to notice that every time.

When I was forced to marry him...all I did was hate him to the core. I can't forget those sleepless nights I cried myself to sleep...but as time passed he made me feel something I never thought I would ever be able to feel again. And before I realised what I feel for him..I had already lost him..

He was like the light in my dark life..he took away all the darkness from my life, that darkness which I never thought I would ever be able to get rid of...i stopped believing in fairy tales a long time ago until jungkook showed up in my life.

After I lost my mom I was alone most of the time. My dad gave me more trust issues than anyone else could. After staying with Jungkook, knowing him, I felt loved..that was the feeling I craved for the most. I made him my world...but when he told me that he only used me..i was left heartbroken...so I begged him to stay.

I didn't care about my self respect or anything at that time because I was scared to lose that feeling of feeling loved...I was scared thinking if he leaves me I'll have to return back to that darkness again...where there was no hope but just pain.

And that happened, he left me and I lost all my hope again but when he showed up in front of me again...I felt a piercing pain right here...in my heart. I was reminded every time how easily anyone can give up on me no matter how much love I give them. That made me hate him...More than him....I started hating myself...maybe I didn't even hate him because I already knew where I belonged. I hate to accept that even maids lead a better life than me and my sister.

And why did I go through all this? What was my fault? Then hear...My fault was that I dreamed...I decided to never look back and just go with the flow. I no longer wanted to fight for anything anymore. I was just tired..I didn't feel like begging anyone for love anymore...because I accepted the fact that love was not for me. Betrayal, pain and suffering yes..those were the feelings which were meant for me.

But as time passed by...I didn't even realize when my heart started to beat again....I started to feel maybe life would not be that hard if he was with me...the person I never planned on falling for...taehyung. I didn't realize my feelings were so strong for him until I pictured my life without him in it.

I didn't plan on falling for him and I doubt if he planned on falling in love with me. But once we were tied up...it was clear that neither of us could control what was happening to us. Honestly, there is no such thing called...the right time to fall in love...it just happens.