Rosewood Institute

Little Accidents

Arundelle's POV

I came back into Birch's room, after Hades had informed us of his breakdown and intense panic attack.

I felt so bad for the little guy, the only person he thought loved him... He's now realizing that he was truly alone in that cold, dark house.

I remember how suffocating my own mother made me feel, I felt I was always walking on eggshells around her. Her bipolar disorder was the most chaotic thing I have ever experienced.

She wasn't just screaming at me for nothing, but her anger turned to rage. That rage turned to physical violence that she took out on me.

Her only child, she thought she had a right to treat me as she wished. But, a neighbor of ours called the police one night after a particularly crazy night of her throwing and breaking everything she could get her hands on. She didn't just shatter the glass vases we had, but my confidence and safety as well.

I grew up in constant fear, and I didn't know how to get out of it. So I became quiet, hardly speaking, I was just surviving then.

She got institutionalized in a mental hospital when I was 10, then I moved from Bern to Locarno in Switzerland. Let's just say going from a bustling city to a smaller beach town was hard to adjust to, but it's where my father lived so I had to go.

It was beautiful, I could tell my father didn't ever want me around so I kept to myself. I explored the beach and forest areas around town and even made a cave into my very own sanctuary.

During those few years with my father, I developed a severe case of OCD to help me deal with my trauma. He didn't mind, seeing as I kept the house spotless. But, I soon would freak out if anything was moved out of place.

I would have such a severe reaction to anyone touching me, that I soon developed a phobia of anyone touching me. It didn't matter who it was, I'd freak out and start screaming or would have such a severe panic attack that I'd pass out.

But I could tell my father was done with my shit by the time I was 13. He signed me off to Silas and the institute, it didn't take him long to figure out what afflicted me and how to properly help me and what medications worked and what didn't.

I was the youngest one to join the institute, but Silas could see I needed help, and I needed it bad. I didn't talk for what seemed like forever, but eventually I started to trust them and open up.

I started going to our weekly group sessions, and I started to get better. I have found healthy coping mechanisms like breathing exercises and meditation, instead of unhealthy coping mechanisms like hurting myself.

Once I got comfortable enough, I slowly started designing my bedroom. I soon learned that fuzzy blankets and aromatherapy diffusers are my friends!

It took me at least a year after I came here to truly be comfortable with them. And then they told me about the polyamorous relationship when I turned 18, and asked me to join. I was happy to join, but had to give them my certain parameters around my touching aversion.

The boys were more than happy to go at my pace, which I was relieved with. It wasn't until a few months later that I took another classification test, seeing as my first one was inconclusive.

I turned out to be a mixed classification, which is why my results were inconclusive in the first place. Switches weren't as popular as doms or subs. Most people who are switches end up in one form of a poly relationship or another. But I was part daddy dom and part submissive. Weird, right? But knowing that Silas and Xavier are daddy doms too, really helped me accept that part of myself.