angeline ✔️

12 - hurt

angeline

when me and eddie got together, i never thought that we would break up.

but once again, matt is destroying my life.

i miss eddie.

i want to so badly cuddle up against him when i wake up.

to kiss him.

to see christopher.

to hug the little boy with all my might.

but matt will hurt them. and i cant be the reason something happens to either of the boys ive come to love.

"ann, you okay?" evan shakes my shoulder gently.

i nod with a small hum.

were sitting at the table in the firehouse. i dont know where everyone else is, and i cant bring it in me to care.

taylor kelly posted the story about all of us, and so on top of missing my boys, im worried every time i hear a small noise.

i told her not to post my name or my face, but she did anyways. if i die, its on her.

"youre not okay, ann. whats going on?" evans sits next to me, holding my hand softly.

"taylor posted the story with me in it. im scared matt is going to find me. i broke up with eddie because of it and i just dont know what to do. im so beyond paranoid." i ramble out.

"oh, ann. ill try to talk to her about taking the video down." he says. "and then you and eddie can be okay."

i nod numbly.

"im going to call her, okay?" he says. i nod again and he stands, walking into the kitchen area.

i let out a sigh, plopping my head down onto my arms.

i need to get a restraining order. i have pictures of some of the marks matts left on me. and the scars to prove it.

mental scars, however, i have a lot more of those.

"you doin okay?" a hand touches my back and i jump up, my heart skipping several beats.

i look up just to see bobby. i breathe out in relief and he stares at me with a concerned look.

"yeah, yeah." i mumble out. "im okay."

"i dont believe that for a second, ann." he shakes his head. "but i wont press you on it. you can talk to me whenever you need to."

"thank you, cap." i smile. he does the same and squeezes my shoulder lovingly.

"okay," evan says, tapping his phone against his hand. "she said she wont take it down."

"oh my god." i groan out. "if matt gets me, its on her ass. not mine."

i push out of my chair as the bell rings overhead.

i angrily throw on all of my gear and jump into the back of the truck.

i notice eddie looking at me, but i cant bring myself to look back. my heart clenches slightly as i notice the sad look on his face.

i bite my lip and pick at the skin, trying my best to ignore everything.

when we get to the scene, my eyes widen.

there are christmas lights everywhere, surrounding the man on the ground.

"doesnt appear to be any spinal damage." i say, rolling the man over.

"all right, lets get him on a backboard." eddie says, patting my shoulder gently.

i jump slightly before taking in a deep breath.

i stand back as i watch my team load the man into the ambulance.

i watch as eddie smiles at the man and my heart begins to hurt.

evan stands back when he notices me staying back.

"youll be okay, ann." he says, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and kissing my head.

-

"thank you." i smile at the woman who hands me a toy.

the firehouse is having the annual toy drive. each of us have our own box for toys and our own area.

"we can actually have a conversation that doesnt end up with us in bed." i hear someone tell eddie.

my heart sinks.

i immediately look over to him and hes already staring at me.

"you need to leave." eddie deadpans. the woman in front of his stands shocked. "now."

i dont stay to see what happens next.

i immediately rush up to the bathroom and close myself into the room.

i slide down the wall as tears rush out of my eyes.

how could he do that to me? i mean, we werent together, but that didnt mean that i went and fucked someone else.

especially because i broke it off since my abusive ex may try to kill him.

my fucking bad, eddie. my bad.

"ange?" i hear the familiar voice from the outside of the door.

"go away." i sigh out. im exhausted. between not having someone in bed with me at night, and the thoughts of matt getting me, i havent been sleeping well.

and now this is just another thing piling up on my shoulders.

"please, ange. it didnt mean anything to me. give me two minutes to explain." he practically begs. i can hear him sliding down the door.

"i dont need an explanation, edmundo. we're not together anymore." i say numbly.

"but you deserve one. let me in and before you know it, ill leave you alone." he says.

"are you going to stop if i say okay?" i close my eyes and lean my head back against the wall.

"yes."

"fine." i reach up and unlock the door. it swings open and eddie plops down in front if me.

"thats christopher's mother out there." he begins. my eyes widen. "she came back a week after we broke up and i was so desperate for something to get my mind off of you. i was so hurt. so i went back to who i knew best all those years ago. sharon."

"i dont understand eddie." i scoff. "all this time, ive been barely able to get out of bed. i havent been able to sleep. let alone fuck someone."

"im so sorry, angeline." he says. "i wasnt thinking straight. i know its not an excuse, but i was hurt. i needed something."

"i understand why you did it. but i cant bring myself to forgive you yet."

"i dont expect you to." he sighs. "can...can i just hold your hand for a minute?"

my brain tells me no. that he doesnt deserve to hold my hand. to feel like skin against his. but my heart is telling me that all i need is his touch.

my heart wind the battle and i slowly reach out. he grabs my hands and locks them together tightly.