(OLD VER.) When Mermen Run From Their Demons

so this is awkward to record...

Tape #19 - this is awkward to record...

Caleb

He looked into my eyes as I violently ripped his shirt off. Yes, I do mean 'ripped' literally. But it was a plain black shirt anyway, he doesn't give a fuck about it.

His kisses, which started off as gentle and light, became increasingly more passionate and aggressive. He took my bottom lip between his teeth and pulled ever so slightly.

     Oh God.

Sorry, thinking back to this night in particular is making me act up.

With my eyes closed, my hands explored every inch of his body. From his chest to his shoulders to his abs. I even teased his waistline a little bit, but I didn't push it too far. I wanted him to beg for it.

I'm not exactly sure how I knew how to do this. I'm not sure how I knew with certainty that he was enjoying every moment of this. I am a merman, afterall.

But I knew how much I was enjoying it as well. His progressively heavier and quicker breathing as the seconds ticked on and his deep voice was its own little siren song to me.

I tugged at his hair as his lips moved down to my jaw and behind my earlobe, and I couldn't hold back the soft moan that came when he started sucking and biting on my neck and leaving dark hickeys. I let my head fall back and pressed his face deeper into my collarbone when he began to lift my shirt up, and expose my abs and lower chest to the cold room.

     "Fuck." I whispered in a shaky voice, which he responded to with a deep laugh.

"Can I take this off?" He asked in a low whisper, gesturing towards my shirt. I nodded. He knew too damn well what he was doing to me. The very fact that he was asking me this while having what's left of his own shirt thrown across the room made me feel things that I can't even describe.

"I mean what I said, when I told you that you were beautiful." He said as he slowly pulled my shirt over my head and dropped it onto the floor. He got on top of me, effectively pinning me down. The dancing lights on his wings played with the shadows in the room, the feathers on his wings occasionally falling off and decorating the bed. They were almost like rose petals.

I cupped his face in my hands and smashed his lips once again into mine, so damn hard that it hurt. But neither of us cared, we just wanted as much of the other person as we could get.

He wrapped his arms tightly around me as continued to kiss my neck, especially in areas where my gills would've been.

     I think I'm in love with a demon.

I woke up for the second time in a row in his arms, with my face buried in his chest and his buried in my hair. Judging by his breathing, he was still asleep. So I didn't move, I just let myself enjoy this moment. Because goddamn it, don't I deserve just a little bit of happiness? I get that you can't necessarily wipe away eighteen years of being taught that love didn't exist specifically for your species, or that if you did have sex, it was only with the opposite gender.

But with each moment that passed with Trevor, the more those lessons became cloudy.

Unashamed, I took a deep inhale as if I was snorting coke.

We didn't take it that far last night, it seemed like an unspoken rule between us to not move too quickly. If we do, then whatever we have going on now might be over  too quickly. We wanted to do it right. We wanted our relationship to evolve naturally, on its own. It shouldn't feel forced.