chapter 5

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(y/n's outfit)

Somebody was knocking loudly on my hotel room door. I wanted to continue sleeping but the sound just wouldn't stop. Sighing, I slowly stood up from my bed and looked at my watch. It was 5:21 PM. That's weird. I remember going to bed a few minutes after this, so why would it still be the same time? Then I realized that I had slept more than 24 hours, and it was the next day!

I sprinted to the door and opened it, revealing my driver. "You have to meet BTS for dinner in 40 minutes! What were you doing?" he sputtered.

"I'm so sorry, I was sleeping! I'll go get ready now!"

I ran back into my hotel room, brushed my teeth, washed my face, combed my hair, and changed into a plain white shirt, putting a black cardigan over it. Nice but casual.

My driver and I frantically rushed down the hall, into the elevator, and out of the hotel lobby into his black car. He hit the gas, accelerating through the busy streets of Seoul. But we didn't get very far, since it was rush hour and the streets were clogged with commuters heading home. I groaned inside. BTS would have to wait a while for me.

Finally, as my watch read 6:07, the driver pulled over outside of the Korean restaurant where I ate as a trainee. Thanking him, I leaped out of the car and ran inside, craning my neck to see where BTS was. Finally, I noticed the seven members at a big table in the back. I made my way over to them. "Sorry for being late!"

"It's okay. We're happy you could make it!" Jimin said.

I took a seat between him and Jungkook and grabbed a menu filled with familiar items. Seafood pajeon, galbi-jjim, tteokbokki, bibimbap. Everything sounded amazing, obviously because I had not eaten in 24 hours.

"Let's talk about what our meal should look like," I decided. "Is there any specific color you want the packaging to be?"

Hoseok spoke up. "We should have purple! ARMY loves to use purple hearts, because that's the color that shows our love for them!"

"We should also add some red and pink somewhere, maybe for the sauces and french fry packaging," Yoongi added. "Those colors are also related to love."

"Great, thanks for sharing!" It must be nice to have fans.

The waitress came over and asked us to order. She looked down and took notes as each one of us told her our order. "I'd like to order the vegetable bibimbap," I said.

She looked up at us from her notepad after I said my order. "Is that all?"

Before any of us could answer her, she gasped and dropped the notepad. "Are you BTS?! I'm such a huge fan! Can I get a picture?" she squealed loudly.

As she pulled out her phone, every single person in the restaurant turned towards our table. All eyes were on us. Then dozens of people got up and started running over to us, their phones in hand. It was so overwhelming. As each member of BTS got out of their seats to give their fans what they wanted, they left me sitting by myself at the table. I stared down at my hands. I would've given anything to be loved like that, to have millions of people adore and admire you.

Suddenly I stood up from the table. I couldn't be here anymore. Pushing past the crowd, a teenage girl bumped into me, causing me to fall onto the floor. "Watch where you're going!" she screeched at me. "If you couldn't tell, I'm trying to see my role models right now!"

She left me sitting on the floor, a smile appearing on her face as she took a selfie with Taehyung. Meanwhile, I had had enough. I walked to the bathroom, my head bowed in embarrassment. Staring in the mirror at myself, I felt so much self-hatred. Why wasn't I ever good enough? Why couldn't I have tried harder to make it into the group? Why couldn't I fix myself even more? I must be such a terrible person if some random girl I didn't even know looked at me like I was trash.

"Y/n...." Jungkook's voice trailed off. I flinched. How long was he standing there? "Is everything alright?"

I looked down at the sink. "Yeah, everything's fine."

"Okay. The other members and I decided to get takeout instead of eating here. We're going back to our dorm, and were wondering if you wanted to come with us!"

I was about to refuse until my stomach grumbled. My stomach wanted food more than I wanted to dissociate myself from the entire situation. "Great! I'll go with you guys."

Jungkook grinned at me. "Yay! Our van is arriving in a few minutes."

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