a drink and fries (jungkook x male reader)

chapter 7

Jungkook had insisted on joining me on my ride back to the hotel, so in the car together, we descended into a comfortable silence. I leaned back on the leather seat and gazed at the window. Neon lights, lit-up storefronts, and streetlights passed by, one after the other. It was like when Jungkook and I first saw snow. I smiled to myself at that thought.

But then we drove past a giant, sleek, imposing, glass-covered skyscraper, the words "Big Hit" out front. This was the headquarters of the music company that rejected me from BTS. The music company that BTS turned into a multibillion-dollar brand. The music company that was the reason why I could never be the same as Jungkook. The reason why even after I played karaoke, watched a movie, and had fun with my former trainees, I would never be equal to them. They would always be better than me. I slumped in my seat.

"You know you can tell me what's wrong, right?" Jungkook asked. "You don't have to keep hiding it."

"Yeah," I answered. "I'm okay though."

Jungkook sighed. "Y/n, you're not okay. You've been like this the entire time you were here. And I think I know why."

"Why?"

"You're still upset you got rejected from BTS."

I couldn't deny it anymore. "You're right."

"So the thing you told me during one of the last times we ever spoke was a lie. That you'd be fine. You're clearly not."

"I'm sorry," I apologized.

"That's all you have to say?" Jungkook shifted in his seat and turned to me. "For 9 years, I trusted that you would be okay, that you would not beat yourself up too much. I trusted that you would be at my side, listening to every song that I helped create and sing. At every concert, I would look in the audience for you to see if you were there, if any of the songs we sang could reach you and inspire you and make you feel better. I wanted you listen to us and be proud of me and my accomplishments. I wanted you to be happy!"

I was too stunned to speak. My stupid, cowardly self had done this to him. It was all my fault. "I'm sorry, Jungkook."

"I even made a song for you. It's called 'Euphoria.' But I bet you never listened to that either. And for you to say so casually to me and the others that you didn't listen to BTS was hurtful. It meant that none of the things I did was worth anything. Because I loved you, y/n. I still do. All I ever wanted was for you to remember me. But I guess all you ever wanted was to forget about me."

"I'm sor-"

"That's the only thing you're capable of saying, hmm?"

I never wanted to forget about him! That moment we met at the train station was the best moment of my life. I would never forget him. I loved him too, and that's why I had to hide my sadness for him. I didn't want him to feel sad for me. I wanted him to feel happy for himself. I wanted to shelter him, but I guess did the wrong thing. I should've been honest and I should've moved on from the rejection. But I'm so pathetic. I'm so stupid. I could feel the tears collecting somewhere in my eyes. Please don't cry, y/n. Not here. Not now. Not in front of him. Don't cry. Dont cry don't cry don't cry don't cr-

"Are you seriously going to cry again? Just like 9 years ago?" Jungkook questioned, his piercing voice reverberating throughout the car.

The floodgates opened. Tears started pouring down my face and I couldn't hold it in anymore. I held up the sleeve of my cardigan to stop the tears from dropping onto the ground, and it was soon soaked. I never meant to hurt him. I never wanted this to happen. I should've gotten over my trauma and forced myself to listen to every single BTS song. I should've sucked it up and moved on. Why am I like this?

"Y/n......... I-I'm sorry." Jungkook apologized.

I didn't reply. The tears kept coming, staining my vision. The lights of Seoul bled together into a single bright puddle. My eyes couldn't see straight anymore. All I wanted was to get back to my hotel room and curl up into a ball. I didn't want to be here

anymore. I didn't deserve to be here. Jungkook didn't deserve to breathe the same air as me.

As soon as the driver pulled up to the hotel driveway and stopped the car, I opened up the door and ran inside without looking back.