Letters To Liam (Liam Payne)

Fourth Letter: Breakups

I'm sorry I haven't updated in so long. As you don't comment that much on this story, I forget I'm writing it. Hopefully, you won't have to wait that much for the next letter!

Bel, xx

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Fourth Letter: Breakups

Dearest Liam,

I thought… I honestly thought that after the tour was over everything was going to get better, that I was going to be away from you so I could forget about you and move on with my life. I thought… I thought that I wasn’t going to be near you again, but I was wrong.

Why am I always wrong?

But if we had to meet again, if I had to call you it wasn’t because I wanted to… I mean, I wanted too but I knew it wasn’t wise, but after this I had to and it was rally hard, but it was an emergency. Seriously, when I thought Alex was acting weird I never imagined something like this was going to happen, and truth be told, I’ve never seen her like this before. How is possible she broke up with Niall when she loves him so much? I don’t understand her, I swear I don’t.

I mean… if I were in her position, knowing how different our lives are, I would never give up on you. If she feels how I feel for you, how can she let him go? I know she’s been crying, I’ve heard her at night and she is not the same. All the light has disappeared from her eyes, and she can’t smile honestly anymore. She is like a zombie! If this makes her so unhappy, why is she doing it?

Now you understand why, even though I knew it would hurt, even though I knew it wasn’t good for me, I went to you today. She is my best friend, I can’t stand seeing her like this and I need to do something and you were the only one who could help me.

Yes, it hurt to see you again, seeing how worried you were not only for me, but for our relationship as friends. You know things changed, you know that I’ve avoided you for some reason that you can’t figure out. I’m sure that if I hadn’t insisted so much on fixing this between Niall and Alex, you would’ve pushed me to give you some answers.

But my feelings don’t matter now, what happened between us doesn’t matter. Even if our friendship is over, that doesn’t matter because our friends need us now. We can’t let this go on like this. If what you told me is true, Niall is no better than Alex and how can we just let them be unhappy? They love each other, they have what we can’t have, what I’d love to have with you, but she’s throwing that away. I can’t let her do that! I know… I know what it is to want someone so bad but knowing that it will never happen and she has that, she has –had– Niall but pushed him away. Something as precious as what they had can’t be over like this.

I can’t let this happen. Somehow, I’ll make her see the light.

When she was with him, Alex was so happy. There was a light in her eyes that was never there before, and I’ve known her since we were in kindergarten! She had had a few boyfriends, and she told me she loved them, but never like this. Never they way she loves Niall. She was the happiest I’ve ever seen her when she was with Niall and now it’s like she is dead. I swear, I barely recognise her and it’s hurting me so much to see her like that.

But at the same time it makes me so mad!

I wish she could open her eyes and just see how stupid all this is. She had something beautiful, something unique, that kind of love that you only find in books (and I can tell you, I know about books) but she threw it away.

There’re so many of us that would give everything to have what she had with Niall but she is throwing that away, giving up on what she loves the most. I’ll make her see that she needs him, she loves him and if they want to be together, they can! How she looks doesn’t matter, what he does doesn’t matter, how different their lives are is the least important thing. They have the most wonderful thing in life and that’s what they need to make it work.

And if to make it work, to help them, I have to be near you again, and see you and feel this pain, I will do it. I can’t have you, you will never love me back, but they can and, at least, I can help on that. I will do that for my best friend and after that, when all this is fixed, I can go on with my life and keep trying to forget about you until I succeed.

Until then, Alex is all I care about. I want my friend to be happy again. I hope what we talked today helps them. I’ll write you soon, when things are fine again, I think. This can’t be my last letter, right?

Truly yours, Phoebe