Well, as LTL is currently #3 in the short story ranking and some of you though that the latest latter was the last, I decided to update. I hope you like this update, there's way more cheerful this time.
Bel, xx
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Fifth Letter: Someone New
Dearest Liam,
It’s been a long time since I wrote you a letter but I’m not going to apologise, after all, it’s because I’ve been working hard on forgetting about you and guess what? I think I’m succeeding. Yes, I know I still have a long way to go, but I feel like I’m on the right path and that I’ll make it. Soon, you will only be my friend.
With Uni I have the perfect excuse to avoid you and you haven’t been so insisting lately, I don’t know why, but I appreciate it. It makes things easier for me. I miss you, I must admit that. At least, as a friend I really miss you. We could talk about anything, laugh and tell silly jokes that no one could find funny but we did. Maybe you didn’t find them funny either, but you still laughed along. I miss our days together in the tour bus. Yes, it was very painful, but at the same time it was so incredible and fun. So many things happened, so many new experiences. After that, my life seems pretty dull. You all are still around, but it is not the same, you know. From seeing you all every single day to see you, if we’re lucky, once a month is a big change. But it’s helping, a lot.
I’m doing great in Uni, I really love my classes and my new professors are amazing. Sometimes I feel a bit intimidated though, but I just know I have to study and everything will be fine. For that reason, I’ve been spending a lot of time in the library. Reason why I haven’t been home when you all have gone there to visit or I don’t pick up the phone when you call me or text me. I’m sorry, but I’m really focusing on my grades right now. That helps me to keep my mind out of, well… you.
But you know what else has happened and why I’m writing to you again? Yes, I know you’ll never see these letters, but still, I’m doing it anyways. Well, the thing is I’ve met someone. His name is Lucas Mead and we have just one class together. He talks to me all the time despite there are plenty of other girls in our class, way prettier and nicer girls; yet he smiles at me and walks with me every chance he gets. He has invited me many times to grab a coffee with him, but I always say no. And the next class, he tries again.
He has been doing that since we met at the beginning of the academic year. He is really nice, the student with the best grades in that class, he is a gentleman and very funny. Even if I’m trying to hold it back, he makes me giggle anyways. I can’t help it. And I must admit, he is very charming and (even if you don’t care about this, I’m telling you anyways) he is really good-looking. Maybe he is not the hottest guy around, but he has lovely eyes, a smile to die for and there’s something about him that invites you to trust him immediately.
Why do I keep rejecting him, then? Belle says he is a great catch and that if I keep turning him down, he will walk away. But I can just accept his invitation when I still have feelings for you, can I? I don’t think that’s fair for him and I don’t want to be that kind of girl. I feel like if I accept his invitation, even if it’s just for a coffee, I’ll be using him to forget about you.
Just today (and the reason why I’m really writing this letter), he told me his feelings for me. Lucas told me he really likes me, that out of all the girls he have met, I’m the only one he can’t stop thinking about and that he knows there must be a reason why I turn him down and I don’t want to give him a chance, but that he will wait until I’m ready.
He is a great guy. We’ve known each other for months already and I like him as a friend, but I’m not sure if I like him that way yet. I know my feelings for him are nothing like what I felt for you once, but I do feel something that can’t be called friendship. When I see him walking towards me I feel my heart racing and that tingly sensation in my belly. I get nervous and self-conscious when I know he is looking at me and I really enjoy spending time with him, even if all what we do is study.
What can I do? Should I accept his invitation and give these feelings a chance or should I just wait until I’m sure I fully forgot about you, Liam? But I must confess that I’m a tad scared that by the time I’m ready, he will find someone better. I guess I don’t want to lose him because I do have some feelings for him.
Belle and Alex said, after I told them today when I got home, that I should totally accept going out with him. Belle says that that’s what dates are for, to see if something can work out with the other person. If I go out with him, at least once, I’ll know if there’s a point in all this, if I really have these kind of feelings for him and if I’ve moved on from what I felt for you. I know, and that’s for sure, that I don’t love you as I used to love you anymore. It doesn’t hurt as much as it did to think of you and Danielle anymore.
Maybe I should accept going on a date with him. Maybe I should try. Maybe he is the guy I’ve been waiting for. I accepted that you are not that guy, I accepted that we are not meant to be and even if I loved you so much, you never did and never will. And that’s okay. But maybe Lucas is the guy who will return my feelings.
I have to try, right?
I’ll let you know what happens. Wish me luck, Liam.
Truly yours, Phoebe
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Letters To Liam (Liam Payne)
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