Letters To Liam (Liam Payne)

Sixth Letter: Lucas Mead

I hope you all enjoy this letter and no, it's not the last letter. After this there will just ONE more and that will be the end. So keep tuned!

Bel, xx

-:-:-:-

Sixth Letter: Lucas Mead

Dearest Liam,

I’m fine. I’m more than fine, to be honest. Things are great, don’t you think? I feel everyone is happy now! I can’t stop smiling and now everything makes sense to me. I know at the beginning I used to think why? Why couldn’t you love me the way I loved you? I accepted you weren’t the guy for me, but I never really understood it.

Until now.

Despite that we seemed to have so many things in common –and we do–, despite that we had so much fun together and being around you was the easiest thing, now I understand why us would’ve never worked out. First, I’m not Alex and she may be strong enough to deal with what your fans say about her or what the paparazzi yell at her just to get a reaction, but I can’t do that. I’m not that strong and people’s words affect me. Always. If your fans didn’t like me, I would’ve wanted to do anything just to please them, and that’s not healthy. It would’ve driven me mad. Second, you are abroad a lot and I’ve discovered that I’m the kind of person that needs constant reminder of the person she is with that he loves her. With you always being away, that would’ve been really hard, maybe impossible. I like privacy, I like walking in the park, enjoying a Sunday afternoon with no one interrupting us. Again, that would’ve been impossible for us. I know those are little things, but they matter to me and I could’ve bear with no having them for a while, but not for too long and that would’ve broken us.

Furthermore, the guy for me never was you; it was Lucas.

I was really afraid and sceptical to give him a chance, but he waited for me and when I finally accepted to go on a date with him, it was the most wonderful date ever. He is sweet, he is caring, he treats me like a princess! He is a gentleman, he really listens to me and he even laughs at my silly jokes. And since then, he has always been like that. Always patient, always charming, always there for me. We have so much in common and when he looks me in the eyes, I feel like I’m the only girl in the world, like no one else matters. He looks at me the way Niall looks at Alex!

With him, I feel loved, I feel important, I feel the first priority. And you know? It’s nice to be the main focus for a change. I’ve always been someone else in the background, never shining. Always just just the friend of the main girl in the picture, always the shy girl that can’t speak up her mind, always the girl that let everyone go first and she stays behind. I feel like I matter now.

Lucas makes me feel… he makes me feel so special and I think… well, I think I’m falling for him. What once I felt for you is now a memory, a sweet memory of a burning bright feeling, but nothing else. I’ve moved on and I’m slowly falling for him. Or maybe not that slowly. He just drags me towards him, like gravity!

Belle says we look lovely together and when I’m with him I feel like a teenager again, like all this is so new for me!

I reckon my feelings for you aren’t the same that I have for Lucas now. I can’t exactly explain why, I just know it’s not the same. I know I loved you, that was never a confusion of some sort, but what I feel for Lucas is different, another magnitude.

I know, this time I really know, I’m with the right guy. He loves me back, he wants me with him and I’m the only girl in his eyes. You still have Danielle and you’re happy with her, and now I have Lucas and I’m happy with him. I think this is how it was always supposed to happen, you know? We were never meant to be because we are destined to be with other people and that’s what makes us happy, so it’s perfectly fine.

I’m sorry I’ve been talking about Lucas so much to you, I just wanted to share my happiness with you. I can’t wait for you to meet him, he is absolutely great and I’m sure you’ll approve of him. He makes me happy, and I think that’s the most important thing.

Also, I want to tell you that I won’t be writing you more letters. I used to write them to canalise my feelings and frustration, but I don’t have that need anymore. Things are finally fine and I’m in peace with all that happened between us. Or what didn’t happen would be more accurate. I know you won’t read these because I hide them, but I’m grateful to you for being such a good listener… kind of. It’s still weird, but anyways, this helped me a lot to overcome my doubts and dark feelings when I was in the eye of the hurricane.  Now I feel we can actually be good friends without any awkwardness between us.

I love you, Liam. As a friend and that won’t change. And I’m happy with things like that. I hope you’re happy too and I wish you the best with Danielle, because that’s what I want for one of my best friends… only to be happy.

Your friend, Phebs