Letters To Liam (Liam Payne)

Final Letter: Your Letters

Okay, so here it is the final letter and what you've been expecting the most. Here you have a connection to my last two books in the series: Bitter & Sassy and Masquerade. I hope you read those on April 15!

Thank you for reading this bonus story in the series. It was great to show you part of Phebs, she is a very dear character of mine.

And the last dedication in this book goes to one of the most dedicated and special readers I have. Thank you, Julie!

Bel, xx

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Final Letter: Your Letters

Dearest Phoebe,

Maybe it wasn’t the best way to find out, I mean, being drunk is not the way to tell the other person you’ve been writing letters for months without even intending to hand them out. Maybe I shouldn’t have asked you to show me the letters when you mentioned them, but I was drunk myself too and I wanted to know. Now I’m glad I asked you this, I’m glad that I finally got to know everything and I finally understand what happened during that time.

You know, seeing you that sad, seeing one of my dearest friend avoiding me was really hard, not knowing what was wrong with you yet suspecting it had to do with me was a really hard thing to do. For so long I wanted to demand you to tell me everything, but Alex always told me to be patient. I’m glad I was, by asking you I would’ve made everything even worse.

When Danielle told me that you liked me that way, I didn’t really understand and there was always a part of me that wanted to believe that everyone was wrong, that you didn’t feel like that for me. I didn’t want you to feel like that when I couldn’t feel the same way towards you. However, I must admit that a part of me was flattered.

You’re a wonderful girl, so sweet, caring, noble and clever, and you definitely need someone as great as you. Now I know that person is Lucas, though at the beginning it was weird because I noticed the change in you. You didn’t look at me the same way anymore and I knew I wasn’t the most important boy for you anymore. But then I got over that and understood that Lucas is who makes you happy, therefore whom you need to be with.

When Danielle and I broke up, I must admit I thought that maybe we could have a chance, but you were still with Lucas by then and I knew –I still know– how much loved him. I knew then that I didn’t have room for those thoughts. I was never really confused, I always knew we could only be friends, but I guess I wanted to feel that way with you. I wanted to love you, maybe, the way you loved me, even if I wasn’t aware of that myself.

The time was never for us, maybe if we both had been single when we met, things would’ve been so different, but I was with Danielle and now that I am single, you’re with Lucas and you’re happy. And I’m happy for you! You deserve this happiness. I know you haven’t written a letter in months and that is because you’re happy with him. He really deserves you, and I see that. He is a great bloke and a very lucky one, too.

I wish I could change the past so you would have never felt like that. I wish I could delete from your memories all that pain I caused you unintentionally and I’m sorry for being so oblivious, for not realising that being with Danielle in front of you was hurting you. I’m sorry for trying to make you be friends with her. I should’ve known better, I should’ve noticed it.

But things are fine now, at least for you. You’re happy, you found the hero of your books and you don’t even have to write more letters anymore. But maybe I do…

I used to be the one with the serious relationship, the one who had been in a relationship almost since the beginning but now I’m single whilst everyone is finding that special someone. I see them being happy, I see them smiling the way I used to and I miss that. I don’t exactly miss Danielle, I got over her, but I do miss to be with someone, to be loved that way. I miss being that special someone. And I miss having someone too. I’ve enjoyed this time, I’ve finally focused on me and what I want to do, on having fun and being free, but I’m the type that likes serious relationships. I’m not made for one-night stands.

What if I can’t find someone again? I know Danielle is happier now and our story is over, but what if that’s all I’ll ever have? It’s been more than a year since me and Danielle broke up and since then I haven’t met someone that really catches my eyes, someone who fascinates me.

It may sound lame and immature (even girly), but I’m afraid that all the lads will find girlfriends and I’ll be the only one single. It hurts my pride, you know. Even Louis may be in a relationship again. He says he hates Kay, but it is obvious she has an interest in him and who knows? Maybe that’ll end up in something. And I’ll be the only one left, from our whole group.

Yes, I’ve been thinking of that a lot lately and how I miss someone by my side.

Anyways, I won’t talk about me, this letters you wrote me have been all about me and I don’t want to monopolise everything. I just want to say thank you, Phebs, for loving me the way you did back then in the summer of 2012, and thank you for loving me the way you do now. They are not the same and I know that this friendly love is what we’re supposed to have. You’re a very dear friend of mine and I’m grateful for having you in my life. I want to apologise as well for the pain I caused you, you must know I wasn’t aware in that moment and that if I had known, things had been a whole different. But I can’t change the past, I can only say I’m sorry and that I’m happy for you now. You certainly deserve all this, you deserve to smile like that every time you get a text from Lucas or when he is around. You deserve this and so much more.

With love, your friend

Liam.

le end...