afflicted

16

No.

No.

It didn't make sense. How was he here? Azriel had told her Cassian was dead. The only member of his inner circle that didn't die by her hand or interference. Though she supposed the turning tide of the war that left Prythian crushed was set in motion by her own decisions.

And yet here he was. Azriel's chest threatened to collapse with the steep rising of his breathing. But Callie couldn't look away from where Cassian lay on the cabin floor. Cass's lips parted, and none of them moved or spoke.

It felt like someone had taken a vacuum cleaner and sucked all of the oxygen out of the room. Callie felt like her brain had malfunctioned. Like she'd imagined all of this. Azriel's eyes told the same story.

Another long moment passed before Azriel and Cassian nearly mauled each other in an effort to hold the other in their arms. They held each other with crushing force, hands fisted in clothing and faces buried in each other's shoulders. The two men wept bitterly, shoulders wracking with the weight of it all.

Callie watched, tears streaming down her face. They were talking, voices muffled in the clothing against their faces, blocking the sound from Callie's ears. Which was probably for the best, because Callie couldn't process it anyway. She felt numb, scooped clean of any sense of self she'd gathered in the last weeks.

"I-I'm so sorry," Azriel shook with quiet sobs.

They pulled apart from one another, tear-stained cheeks pulled up in disbelief as they looked at each other like they were worried to see their friend, no- brother- disappear before they could memorize him.

"How are you here?" Azriel asked, eyebrows peaked in worry as he roughly swiped the backs of his hands across his cheeks to dry them.

Callie saw it then.

The puddle of blood where Cassian had been pinned on his back by Azriel.

Horror roiled low in Callie's gut as she realized. Cassian's wings... they... they were gone. In their place, his back was wrapped unprofessionally in gauze, soaked through with the dark crimson of his blood.

"He's bleeding," Callie announced.

Azriel blinked as if just now realizing she was still in the room. His brows furrowed, expression dropping the moment he realized the missing aspect of his brothers' anatomy. He paled, all the blood migrating from his face.

Azriel looked around Cassian to see the puddle of blood behind him.

"She had me clipped when they found me," Cassian said, eyes cast on the floor. "She broke through my mental shield like it was water. She knew being an Illyrian was all I was, and she wanted me to feel the pain of losing everything like she had. I suppose when she was in there, she got a kick out of exploring my past. They tossed me out into the snow in the Steppes, thinking I was as good as dead. She said I'd die alone in the cold, just like my mother."

Azriel was frozen in place, paralyzed by the disgust and terror that flooded him.

"I'm so sorry, Cassian," Callie murmured. His head whipped around like he, too, had forgotten about her in the moment of joy. His eyes narrowed into a deadly glare that sent goosebumps down her spine.

"What the fuck," Cassian spit, "are you doing with that thing."

Azriel looked at her, eyes blown wide. He looked back and forth between his best friend and his mate, so certain he'd never have to face this that he'd almost allowed her back in, had almost fallen for her all over. His lip curled in disgust.

Callie's face was on fire, blinking rapidly to stave off tears. She wouldn't cry. She had no place to cry. This was her fault. Azriel didn't need her anymore. She could leave- or die- and he wouldn't be alone.

"Azriel." Cassian demanded; voice eerily stern.

"I-..." Azriel began but choked on his words.

Azriel dropped her gaze, ashamed.

She cleared her throat.

"I, um... I'm going to leave," she said with a halfhearted smile, standing and dusting herself off. She made it to the door before turning back at the two oversized men in a pile on the floor.

"Can I heal your back for you before I leave? I don't have much practice but I can see if I can help," Callie said, voice cracking.

Cassian sneered.

"I'd rather bleed out, thanks."

Callie nodded, turning and twisting the knob, ignoring Azriel calling after her and walked back out into the snow, pulling the door shut behind her. She didn't know where she was going, so she just started walking.