afflicted

46

White light flooded Callie's vision as soon as her eyelids parted for the first time in days. Sucking in a breath through her teeth, she blinked rapidly, the blur of light eventually unblurring and unfolding before her like a deciphered puzzle. Were it not for the way her body ached, she'd likely have thought she was dead. She was in the bed she had shared with Azriel in the House of Wind in the earliest, happiest days of their love. An ache in her chest bloomed as she ran her fingers across the painfully familiar bedding.

Was she dreaming? If she were, she wanted to stay there, at least for a bit, in the warm glow of love. It warmed her frosted limbs and breathed life back into the tips of her fingers. Being here, even for a moment, felt like her soul was being stitched back together with threads of all she'd lost. She missed the life they'd had in this room- all the whispered kisses and tears shed over vulnerable conversation. She huffed a laugh to herself when she remembered their silly arguments on bad days and the way she'd give all the rest of her good days for just one more of those bad days.

"I always thought you were prettiest like this," Azriel spoke from the corner, and Callie gasped, jumping slightly as she realized he was sat in a chair across the room, watching her with a sad smile. "Right here, in my room, with the sunlight falling between the cracks in the curtains, bathed in warm light and content."

She looked at him- really looked at him for the first time in months. She looked at this man who was just as shattered as she was, but who made her feel whole. The man who loved lemon squares and silly knick knacks and had so much blood on his hands. He'd tortured more people than he'd ever be able to count, and he'd also loved harder than any other person she'd ever met.

But that wasn't what made the tears spring to her eyes.

No, that wasn't it all.

"Cal?" Azriel chuckled. "You feelin' okay?"

Like he'd broken a spell she hadn't realized she was entranced under, she leapt from his bed, her legs getting tangled in the sheets as she clambered her way over and into his lap. She gripped the sides of his face between her hands, looking into those hazel eyes she'd always know better than any other. Tears falling, she kissed his cheek bones and his forehead. She pressed her lips to his temples and nose, the ache inside of her finding its first taste of reprieve, here with him giggling underneath her affection.

"Callie," Azriel laughed, trying to get her to cease her attack. She sniffed, pulling back to look at him again, eyes shining with unadulterated emotion. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong," she shook her head.

"Then why are you crying?" He asked, his hand cupping her cheek, brows furrowed in worry as they usually were. Even the familiarity of his habits threatened to rip her apart.

"Because," she cried. "Nothing is wrong."

Thinking he understood, Azriel tried to pull her into his chest to comfort her, but she placed a hand against his chest to stop him from doing so. He looked down at her hand, hurt registering on his face as he assumed she was rejecting his advances.

"I... Azriel, I remember," she laughed incredulously.

"Remember what, love?"

"Everything," she felt him stiffening underneath her touch, and her heart could have exploded from the amount of love and hope that flooded his eyes. He looked enamored and relieved at the same time.

"Everything?"

"Everything."

Her heart was beating raucously in her chest, slamming against her rib cage and reminding her frail bones what it felt like to be alive. She thought of Vera and her home by the ocean, of sticky popsicle fingers and whispered secrets over the sound of the waves. She remembered giggling as they raced through the grass, lightning bugs surrounding them like immersive stars.

She remembered the warmth of her mother's embrace and the smell of her cooking in the early evenings. She remembered how it felt to see Azriel's shy, sweet smile as he sheepishly handed her mother a handmade gift at Solstice. She felt radiant with all the love she'd been gifted. There was so much of it that it barely fit inside of her.

"You remember me?" He choked, and the desperate sound shattered her heart all over again. He loved her so emphatically that it wrapped itself around her like a protective coating. She'd never been loved so fiercely in all her life. She'd never known that kind of love even could exist- the kind that softened your falls.

"Down to the smallest freckle on your back," she laughed.

He hugged her tightly, like he was likely to squeeze her to death.

"Az," she croaked out. "Too tight."

"Sorry," he said, immediately releasing her. She leaned back into his arms, kissing his neck sweetly. His scent had always made her melt, but now, it turned her molten.

"How is that possible?" She asked, looking up at him from where her head rested against his chest. "What happened? I remember holding Maeve down and Vera's flames, but then it goes dark."

Azriel rested his chin on the top of her head.

"One of her Stygian spiders stung you right before she died," Azriel said solemnly. "I should have been there to protect you. I'm so sorry."

"Az, you did what you could. We all did. Aren't Stygians venomous, though?" She asked, confusion eddying in her features.

"Very," he nodded, jostling her head slightly. "I was panicked. Vera found me knocking over bottle after bottle of potions and elixirs in dazed distress and helped. She found some concoction Maeve's henchman had been working on and thank the gods Vera is braver than I am, because I couldn't allow myself to give you anything I wasn't absolutely certain of the consequences for. Quick on her feet, just like another woman I know, she must've seen something on the label and immediately knew it was an anecdote. It wasn't just for the venom, though. It was a universal panacea. Once it was in your system, it healed your wounds and any other physical harm you'd endured. I-... I hadn't even considered that it may have healed the damage Rhysand had done to your mind."

Callie thought this over silently, replaying the story in her head over and over until it made sense. The ache in Callie's body hadn't been from injury. It'd been for how long she'd slept and how stiff her muscles had become from lack of use. It seemed the healing of her mind had taken the anecdote longer to alleviate. The throbbing ache Callie had become numbly accustomed to was even gone.

"Thank you for never giving up on me," Callie whispered.

"Thank you for giving me a reason to fight," he said, rubbing his hand soothingly up and down her arm. So, she really was here. She was home. Back in the house of wind with her mate. It didn't feel like it yet, but everything was going to be okay.

"I love you," he murmured into her hair.

"I love you," she agreed, speaking into his shirt.

"Want to spend the afternoon remembering just how much?" Azriel said suggestively, his smirk evident in his tone.

"Duh," Callie smiled. "But first, I think I want to see my family."

Azriel grinned at her, rubbing the pad of his thumb across her cheekbone.

"As long as you come back home to me after," he said slyly.

"You're my home. I would never go anywhere else."