afflicted

32: 3 days captured...

A/N: Well, this is the last flashback chapter. Are you ready for all the answers you've been waiting for? Enjoy!

Darkness was clawing at the edges of her mind, shredding through her resolve with icy fingers. She blinked hard, forcing her vision to focus and her limbs to obey the orders of her mind. She felt like she was dangling on a perilous edge. If she let her focus slip for even a moment, the dark creature festering inside of her was poised to strike. She didn't know what exactly it was, but she felt its darkness, taking root in her like a suckling parasite. 

It was a long walk North to the House of Wind. She was stuck in the purgatory of her own thoughts, constantly playing and replaying the events that had come about. She tried to fight off the morose sadness that desperately wanted to overwhelm her. If she caved now, they would all die. The weight of her responsibility was crushing. She didn't know how long she'd be able to hold it, but she swore to herself she'd hold it as long as she physically could.

Her chest ached for the panic she knew she'd caused Azriel. She knew he was likely still out somewhere searching for her, that he'd never sleep knowing she was somewhere unsafe. She hated lying to him, hated hurting him, but she would rather him be alive. If he knew her plans, he would have stopped at nothing to keep it from happening and would have gotten them both killed. Now, at least, it would only be Callie suffering. She was willing to trade herself for all of their safety. It was an easy sacrifice to make.

Beads of sweat dripped down her back from the effort it took to travel the winded path towards Velaris. She counted her breaths in and out, keeping herself present and keeping the creeping entity at bay. The leather of the collar chafed her neck, rubbing the sensitive skin raw. The stone felt heavy, pulsating with an eerie green glow as it pressed against her skin.

It was a few hours later when she found herself at the base of the sprawling set of stairs that led up to her former home. Her eyes stung and she sniffled as she began to climb, realizing she was about to say goodbye to the life she'd fallen in love with. There would be no more late-night laughs around the fireplace in the House of Wind's living room. No more family dinners or late-night talks. She'd never lay in Azriel's arms on the couch again, telling him about whatever new story idea she'd concocted as he listened and looked at her with a heated adoration that made her stomach flip.

Tears began to stream down her cheeks, but she didn't have the energy to wipe them away this time. She let them spill across her skin, leaving behind a cold path promptly licked by the wind. At least she could be thankful for that. It had finally begun to cool down and she finally didn't feel like she was suffocating. She climbed as many stairs as she could before sitting down and taking a moment to rest before repeating her actions. It took her longer than she'd ever admit to finally reach the top, but she wasn't certain she wasn't also stalling to avoid the conversation she was about to have.

She went through a side entrance she knew was rarely used, nearly falling apart at the familiar creak of the door. She fastened it behind her, looking around at the place she'd learned about love and friendship. She slipped through the dark and down the elegantly decorated hallway to where she knew Rhysand's office would be.

She knew Rhys well enough to know that he'd still be awake and mulling over a million things that could have been done differently. She took a deep breath as she placed her hand against the heavy wood door, then quickly slipped inside and shut the door behind her.

Papers ruffled and she looked up to see a dumbfounded Rhysand staring at her, his mouth agape. He looked even more tired than he had when she'd last seen him nearly four days ago. He looked hollow, the only emotion registering was the shock of seeing Callie again.