Blood and Water | Neteyam

So Flawed and Free ∼ 43

She looked like the sun.

That was all that ran through Neteyam's mind as he watched her from across the beach.

How the pearls and the gems she wore across her chest glittered in the reflection of the fire. How her body was painted in a vibrant combination of oranges and yellows and reds, the colors running down her arms and legs, circling her stomach and dipping down her back. How her smile lit up her painted face as she danced with his family, holding onto Tuk's hand, and twirling the little girl around.

Neteyam stood still, his gaze transfixed on Tcelia as he leaned up against a palm tree by the edge of the celebration spot, his back to the forest. He caught glimpses of them through the many Metkayina bodies that separated them, all dancing or singing or drinking. The drums that Neteyam had helped carry out earlier had been put to use and a lively beat was playing, the Na'vi singing a famous festivity song along to the tune.

Neteyam watched as Tuk's face flashed his way, her toothy smile bigger than ever. He watched as Lo'ak laughed on the other side of Tcelia, grabbing Tuk's other hand and spun her around once again. If it wasn't for the many Metkayina singing around him, Neteyam was sure that he would have been able to hear the little girl's bursts of giggles as Lo'ak twirled her another time, causing Tuk to spin into Kiri, who quickly grabbed her sister's arms to steady her. Neteyam couldn't see Spider's face due to the reflection of the bonfire in his breathing mask, but by the way his posture was relaxed as he grabbed both Tuk and Kiri's hands and dragged them around in a small circle to the tune of the beat, Neteyam judged that he was just as happy to be there as any of the other Na'vi. Both of his sister's faces were lit with happiness as they twirled around with Spider, skipping, and singing along to the song.

He watched as Lo'ak grabbed Tcelia's hand and smiled down at her. Tcelia was standing with her back to Neteyam, but he assumed that her face mirrored the same content expression that Lo'ak wore. A wistful smile formed on Neteyam's face as he watched his brother put an arm around her, placing a soft kiss on the top of her hair. Then he watched them both reach their arm that wasn't holding on to the other, out towards something that Neteyam couldn't see due to the many Na'vi in the way, inviting someone to join them. A Na'vi blocked his view and Neteyam lost her in the crowd.

Neteyam crossed his arms, waiting patiently for the Na'vi to part just right again. When they finally did, he spotted her chatting with Ao'nung heartedly, an arm still wrapped around Lo'ak. She was laughing at something Ao'nung was saying, their faces illuminated by the large bonfire beside them. Lo'ak, still having an arm around Tcelia's shoulder, was chatting with Tsireya and Rotxo. It struck Neteyam as strange; how much they looked like a couple, chatting with their friends and enjoying a celebration. How comfortable around each other they were, had always been. Neteyam had once been jealous of their bond, how they were each other's twin flame. But it wasn't just because of his romantic feelings for Tcelia. He had also been jealous of the fact that they seemed to understand each other in a way no one else could, that they had been inseparable since the day they were born.

It had frustrated Neteyam that Tcelia had been the only one who Lo'ak trusted completely, whom he told everything to. And it also frustrated him that Tcelia never let him in the same way that she had let Lo'ak in. For the longest time, Neteyam had felt like he had been standing in front of them, separated by a glass wall, so close to them yet impossible to get to, watching their friendship up close, but only allowed a sense of what could have been if he had been a part of it - wistful moments, before being reminded of the wall between them.

He had tried to break the glass more times than he could count, yelling out for them to let him in. He had once been so sure that they had been able to hear him, but when Lo'ak had approached him after Tcelia's near death and told him about his feelings for her, Neteyam had begun to wonder if he had ever been clear enough in expressing that he wanted to be a part of their twosome. Had he ever directly expressed his longing for inclusion in their friendship? Or had he accidentally distanced himself from them, scaring them further and further away from the glass the more he yelled and tried to smash it?