Somewhere in the muddy dirt
The air exhaled in uneven intervals
As I escape the eyesight of jealous men
The present is lost
Which is bothersome ever more
Since my joy consists in moments only
What is bothersome even more
My urge is to seek moments of past, present and future
And merge them into states, ETERNALIZE them
Find the moment most beloved and make it last forever
But the moment is hardly a second
And it evades me as I evade
The eyesight of jealous men
It goes away with a rotten giggle
As they do
What if the concern is that
'Tis a lost cause to conceive of the moment as evasive
In the first place
What if
'Tis a lost cause to yearn for the moments in this manner
And the saving grace, to realize
That the present is a moment that lasts forever
And that moments that constitute memories
They are not gone whatsoever
For if they once occurred, they walk beside me
I suppose this is growth
The message from my mentors was somewhat as follows
My growth is the increasingly perfect intellectualization of emotion
For he who is compelled to rearrange the pieces
He is only able to do so once he has understood them
I suppose
Reality is shaped by perception
And by altering our perception of what we deem reality
We alter reality
It might be the case
That I can only see and feel my memories
My dearest moments
When I connect the identity
Of their observing places back then and right now
The SAMENESS
Of myself back then and right now
When I bend my perception so as to notice
The breath of my dearest moments
Persisting in the aether
I may cease my grief
Over the loss of my juvenile spirit
Particularly when it appears to me
That it was not replaced but reinforced
By the present I
