Our last summer as kids

Tracy

Dear Diary,

Good news and more good news. I'll start with the good news first; Max has finally stopped pestering me. To be fair though it has only been four days, but those four days have been promising.

Now onto the better news... I made a few new friends, yes, yes, not that big of a deal but for me this is something new, something big, something I haven't done alone or should I say without Max.

Yes, I do know I am still in my early stages of friendship with these girls but it's something promising. Something I can look forward to in the future.

Now you must be wondering, oh pretty, Tracy how did you meet these girls, well remember how I made a new insta page and started posting on it, well in my bio I put new UCLA student and a few girls DM'ed me, and by a few, I mean two but no one's counting (better not be counting diary).

Anway, their names are Tony and Safie. So far, they are really nice, I've kind of been spilling my whole life to them and my whole self-growth journey with them the past week I've been texting them.

Fun fact they actually go to my high school's rival school and even more of a fun fact they didn't know of each other until their last year of high school and just like I, they are still getting to know each other.

So, I guess you can say we are all freshly friends.

They have actually been very helpful on my self-healing journey. They've decided to join my workouts starting next week (they don't have a membership to the all-women's gym I've signed up for but will be getting one this week) and they have talked me through my whole situation ship with Max.

I never knew having genuine girl friends could be this cool and eye opening. They have taught me so much on how I've let Max, and his friends walk all over me; to give them some credit I did let them do it.

Tony is super big on speaking her mind and reminds me that If I don't speak up or let others know my feelings how will they know. Yes, Max knew I liked him, but did I ever tell him, when he left me out in things that it hurt or when he and his friends ignored me that it bothered me; no, I didn't, so why did I expect them to.

Safie has also been reminding me that when people hurt my feelings and I express that they have hurt them to just walk away. Second chances don't work for people who don't genuinely want them, she also has said some people don't deserve second chances, but I don't think that applies to all... she does.

It doesn't apply to my mom; my mom deserves a second chance. I've decided to move back home with my mother. We have been talking and we both decided to go to therapy. I don't know what changed her mind about her behavior but I'm liking the new her.

Of course, she's still a bitch, who shows a little bit of favoritism towards other people's kids but she's trying and to punish someone who's trying sucks.

Now if she wrongs me again, next time I will not hesitate to cut her out of my life but for right now, I just want my mom.

As for Max, as Tony say's it's time to move on. I've loved a boy, now I'm ready to love a man... hehe

xoxo

Tracy :)