chap3

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I was lost in my thoughts , I felt someone pull my saree pallu. I looked down to see akhil looking at me with his cute excited eyes. I kneeled down before him " What is it aki? " I asked
" Can I ask you something " He asked, I nodded in yes.
" Do you love Dev mama? " I was taken aback by his question. I didn't know what to reply to his awaiting stare, I just gave him a sad smile. " He is my friend aki, so I love him" I said.
" So, will you marry him and become my atha( aunty) ? " He asked again.
" No aki, I love him like a friend, not like how your amma loves your nanna" I said explaining to him............. I love him more than a friend aki,but I can't tell you this. I wish that would happen, I thought to myself looking at Dev, talking and laughing with his friends oblivious to my feelings, far away from me.
" Why can't you? I know you love him, that's why you have his name tattoo " He said making me shocked.
" How..... Do....You know? " I asked
Yes, I have dev's name tattooed on my ring finger as veb which is well covered under the infinity loop web ring. I don't know what I was even thinking when I got his name tattooed, he is my first love, whether he love me Or not, he will remain as my first love forever, and I felt like I am stuck in his love web, so I made it like " Veb" It's mirror image is Dev and the web ring of infinity is my love for him. No one knows the meaning about my tattoo and the ring.... But how come aki??

I gave him a questioning look to which he passed me the phone

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I gave him a questioning look to which he passed me the phone. It was the selfie we took a while ago, my ring slipped a bit out of place and because of the mirror effect of the selfie, my tattoo is clearly seen as Dev.
" Tell me, you love him na doll? " He asked again.
I nodded my head, " Then marry him na" He said again.
I shook my head as no, I had tears in my eyes, even akhil had .
" I can't aki, that's not possible " I said.
" Why, you can be my atha, don't you love me? " He asked innocently.
" I love you aki, it's not about you, Dev...... He doesn't love me " I said trying to explain him.
" I will tell mama to love you, he will listen to me"
" No aki, plz don't tell it to dev, promise me plz.. " I said.
" Plz doll, I love you soo much, I want only you as my atha"
" May be you will get a better atha, who will love you more than me " I said with lots of difficulty. I am not able to imagine dev with someone else.
" I don't want any other, I want only you. You love me just like amma, you play with me like amma, you fed me like amma, so only you can be my atha. I don't like that sruthi, she is a ghost." He said crying, it's been just a day and he is crying for me. Will he forget me tomorrow? I don't know, but I don't want him to forget me. This little guy stood up for me to fight, he calls me doll, will this remain like this?? Same as it is, picture perfect!!
" Who is sruthi? " I asked.
" Naani said that she will become my atha if mama marry her , I hate her, she scolded me for asking her to play with me " He said.
Aki is just increasing my desire to tell dev that I love him. He is making me want him more and more with each passing second.
How can I not agree for this little kid proposing me to be his atha.
But I can't say a yes also. It's dev who has to say. What should I do now.....
I some how consoled him and took him for a walk to divert him. His face looked gloomy and sad, I couldn't see him like this. After thinking alot about it, I decided to say my love to dev. Let anything happen. But I need to atleast tell him. Than being scared of uncertainty,
It's better to be comfortable with its unpredictability! By choosing my happiness!
It's better I tell him and over come my restlessness.
I sat on a nearby bench and made aki sit on my lap.
" Aki, do you think your mama will love me? " I asked
His face immediately had a smile. He said" Of course. You are my doll. You are soo good and mama is also good, so he will love you . " He said his theory.
I smiled kissing his cheek. To which he kissed me back.
" What if, your mama say a no to me? " I asked. I can't take risk of hurting this little guy's heart.
" Then, I will tell amma, naani and taatha about you, they will however love you, so they will immediately get you married to mama, then mama can't do anything, he will love you back" He said.
What an optimistic kid!!!
We all need such positivity in life...
" Aki, until I tell it to your mama, plz don't tell him" I asked and he shook his head a no.
" I will tell mama" He said laughing ,as I tickle .His baby voice seems like melody to me. I don't know why, but I felt so attached to him the moment I've seen him for the very first time, his teary eyes held something which made me feel to take him into my embrace.

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