The Lease Up

19. To Love and Be Loved

Song for Chapter: Love Song ~ Sara Baraeilles 

Fun trivia about this song, it's not about a guy like most people think. She was under pressure from her label to make a love song so this is what she came up with, a hit (at the time) but also a middle finger in song form. It still serves as a love song too, but the creative meaning behind it is just pure genius. Love talented, strong women! ♡

GABRIEL

Whoever said rejection isn't fatal must never have experienced it. Alright fine, it's not really fatal, but it is fucking brutal. A week later, the lingering sting feels fucking incurable.

As I wallowed in self pity, my Gram's voice filtered into my head during the drive home after overhearing Vanessa's true feelings about me, "when someone hurts you do something nice for someone else."

So that's what I did.

I might have gone overboard making arrangements to cater food for the next few days at the homeless shelter in the city, but it did help take my mind off the suffocating pain that consumed me.

It's not like I meant to overhear the conversation between Vanessa and Jenny, but then I couldn't help myself and then immediately regretted it.

Nothing like ripping the bandaid off the inevitable, I suppose, considering Vanessa was never really sold on our arrangement—relationship...agreement. Whatever it was.

She's called me everyday since. But what could she possibly say after that?.

Maybe this is what I needed. A taste of my own medicine. Grams always tells me all the broken hearts I'm leaving behind would catch up to me one day.

Where normally, I'm the one dodging and avoiding women after a third maybe a fourth date, I found myself figuring out ways to persuade Vanessa to have simple lunch-get-togethers or even dinner.

I turned into my worst nightmare; a fucking simp.

"Mr. Tate!"

Snapping out of my depressing thoughts heading back up to my hotel room, I stop facing toward the reception desk. The concierge smiles holding a few slips of papers in her hand.

"You've been popular this evening; several calls and messages came in for you. A few of them are urgent messages."

My erratic pulse races for entirely different reasons when I see it's not Vanessa as I expected as I scan over the names on the papers. I thank the friendly receptionist and immediately pull out my phone. Seeing all the missed calls and text having had my phone silenced during the recent seminar.

The emotional gruff greeting from Gramps on the other end reaches my ear, and my breath hitches.

"Is she...?"

"She's gone, Gabriel. My Millie's gone." Gramps breaks down over the phone and I hold my fist over my mouth to keep from losing it in the middle of the lobby.

Struggling to keep in my emotions, I clear my throat. "I'm on my way."

_________________

Grams funeral is exactly as she had wanted it to be. Full of color and life, just like her. Even towards the end as her body was betraying her, there was still a spark of love, biting humor and joy you felt and experienced being in her presence.

Though we all feel the dimness in our lives with her gone, everyone in the family makes efforts to keep the mood lively, but there is no mistaking the heaviness we each carry in our hearts.