you meet harry on your trip to london only to have all your dreams come crashing down by ed's silly shenanigans & jason's anger issues
disclaimer: sadly all of this is satire
(#1 in #jasonderulo ??? that's so silly)
-05/13/23
Harry stood in the middle of that hideous lime green room, staring at Ed Sheeran with an emotion he couldn't quite name. It was like how a British person feels when an American starts talking bad about tea or the royal family.
"Why have ye come here, Ed? Ye've doomed us all."
Ed Sheeran picked up a Mcdonald's french fry off the ground and ate it. You must have left it there after they kicked you out. "I already told ya, Harry."
Harry's radiation green eyes well up with tears. "I don't know where the bloke is, Ed. I thought I made that clear."
Ed steps forward, revealing an orange pool noodle. He puts it under Harry's chin, as one might do with a knife, and pushes him against the green wall.
"Tell meh."
Harry quakes, fear overwhelming him. "Hogwarts," he blurts out, before he can stop himself.
Ed pauses. The orange pool noodle falls to the ground with a "thump."
"Hogwarts?" Ed frantically walks away, leaving the pool noodle where it was. Harry picks it up.
"W-w-wait, narrr!" Harry stutters. "He's not at Hogwarts!"
But Ed was not listening anymore. Harry runs after him, pool noodle in hand. If Ed was going to find Zac Efron, he would have to fight Harry first.
——————
hi besties, rey (writer) here! just wanted to say thx for reading & enjoying this disaster so far!!! there is still MUCH more to come so buckle up and enjoy the chaos that is Jason Derulo's work in the foodservice industry, Ed Sheeran's obsession with a lost love, and Harry Styles's devotion to end it (and whatever Obama is up to idek).
who else should join the cast? i'm thinking Taylor Swift can make a sneak peak & Gordon Ramsay too.
anyway thanks for reading & i hope you look forward to what's to come. :)
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