Reader x Harry Styles x Jason Derulo x Barack Obama x Ed Sheeran x Zac Efron

eight: abs

Obama struts toward you in a presidential manner (you're still sitting criss-cross in your puddle of tears) and hands you a business card. It reads "Barack H. Obama, Founder of the A.B.S."

"Abs?" you ask Barack.

"The Anti-British Society," he informs you. "Our duty is to ensure the world is never again overrun by British people. If there is an unbalanced number of them in this world, it is our job to...reinforce balance."

"Does your whole 'searching for Zac Efron' have anything to do with this?"

Obama sighs, looking down. "In a way, yes. Our team believes that if Ed can be reunited with his lost love, he may leave our realm. For good."

You stand up, uncomfortably. Your cheetah print leggings are soaking wet and sticking to your skin and you feel the thick mascara that you don't even remember putting on this morning (because only pick-me's wear makeup, duhhh 🙄) staining your cheeks the color of your rotting teeth (black).

""Our realm?'" you repeat, confused.

Obama nods grimly. "Yes, kiddo. Ed Sheeran came here from a land far away. And when he did, he caused a great stir. As I said before, there can only be so many British people around so when Ed arrived, someone had to go. That someone was Queen Elizabeth."

You gasp, falling to your knees (again). You're pretty sure you broke something falling back onto the hard, greasy Mcdonald's floor because you heard something crack. "Queen Elizabeth died...because of Ed???"

Obama nods sadly again, his face reflecting the emotion of me in middle school when I realized we had to run a mile on the football track in PE.

You put your hands on your hips. "We have to do something about this, Mr President!" you say.

"Yes," Barack agrees agreeingly. "That is why I gave you my business card. Kid, would you like to join the Anti-british Society?"

"Yes!" you shout gleefully.

"Then come with me."

You follow Obama out of the door of the Mcdonald's. Little do you know, your adventure is just beginning.