A kiss to tell ( jenlisa ) (GIP)

PROLOGUE

J

The kiss was bruising, just like her presence always was.

On the last Tuesday before school let out for the summer, and my ninth-grade year was over forever, Lisa Manoban kissed me. No. She devoured me.

She destroyed everything I had in that moment. She took every bit and she made it hers. I was hers for that all-consuming kiss. My first kiss.

I still remember it so well. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't do anything but let the heat and electricity rip through my body as Lisa pinned me against the wall. The rough brick scraped harshly against the small of my back, but I hadn't even noticed. I wouldn't notice until hours later, standing under the stream of water in a scalding shower. The sting I felt proved her kiss had left more than one mark on me.

Her tongue was hot, her grip intense and her presence dominating as ever. When she followed me outside as I tried to hide around the corner behind the school, I didn't even see her coming. The chill in the air struck against my heated face as soon as the door swung open, and I could barely manage to feel anything but the cold sensation that flowed over my skin. I needed to hide. From the other kids, from the teachers who didn't care... from reality. I was always good at that.

I didn't expect anyone to follow me. No one had for the past few days. Each day proved harder than the last, although the nights were the worst.

I was still carelessly wiping away my tears—they were an unwanted nuisance just like how everyone else saw me—when I heard her hard steps behind me.

The sudden spike of fear I felt, paled in comparison to the effect Lisa had on me. The sound of my startled gasp was dwarfed by the feel of my heart racing rapidly against her as she pinned me where she wanted me.

She always took what she wanted.

But I'd never once thought she wanted me.

Her warm breath flowed over my face, and suddenly the iciness in the air was nonexistent. Nothing existed but her. Not even the air that separated us.

If I hadn't been stunned, the confusion would have shown on my face. I'd always wondered what it would be like to be kissed by a girl like Lisa. I'd assumed it would always be nothing more than a passing thought. But every time she walked by me, every time I caught her staring at me, I knew there was something between us. Her piercing gaze seemed to capture me in place while also looking right through me.

I was no one, but I wanted it that way. Not being noticed was the best thing that could happen when you lived where I did. Unless you were Lisa, and then everyone noticed you and everyone feared you just the same.

She pulled away from me before I could react to her lips on mine, both of us gasping for air.

I'll never forget that her eyes were closed, or how slowly she opened them to paralyze me with those steely blues of hers. A mask of indifference slipped over her face, but I know my expression showed my awe, my shock... my lust that I had so painfully hidden since the first day I'd laid eyes on her.

"Stop crying," she said, and her command was harsh as if my tears were an insult to her. As if my pain had anything at all to do with her. Her nostrils flared and the rage she was so well known for was evident on her.. well handsome features.

But just as it had never affected me before, it didn't affect me then either. I knew she was forbidden. I knew I was supposed to be afraid of her. Maybe I was just stupid because I never felt anything but desire for her.

"Stop fucking crying," she gritted out between her clenched teeth, "and don't tell anyone I did this. Not a single fucking person," she threatened. She brought her lips even closer to mine in a gesture that should have been menacing, but I'd be damned if it didn't make me hot for her where I'd never felt heat before. Her eyes searched mine.

"Or else I'll make you cry those tears harder than you can imagine." Her words caused my gaze to move from her lips to her cold stare. She would never know how hard I had cried in the middle of the night. She didn't know what had really happened and how guilty I was.

I shook my head gently and replied, "You can't."

Her grin was accompanied by a huff of masculine laughter like she thought it was a challenge, but before she could say whatever was on the tip of her tongue, I cut her off.

"You won't make me cry. I know you won't," I said and shook my head, meeting her gaze with every ounce of sincerity I could muster. "And I won't tell anyone." The last bit broke my heart in two, but I don't know why when there wasn't a single soul to tell anyway. There was no one I wanted to run to. No one but the girl who had lost control, kissed me, and obviously regretted it.

I watched as she swallowed, her throat tightening. The bit of stubble that ran up her neck tempted me to touch it. Whatever it was that had caused her to kiss me, whether it was only to silence my crying or something else, was gone. And I knew she'd never kiss me again.

Letting out a long breath, my lips still parted, I said nothing and let her walk away.

The masculine scent of a girl I should have feared and a girl I should have never wanted, was all that filled my lungs as I tried to steady myself. I sagged against the brick building and tried to make sense of what had just happened.

I stopped crying that day and didn't shed another tear. Not that week, and not at the funeral. Not when my uncle let me move in with him, so I would have a place to stay.

I never spoke of what happened and I started to question my sanity when she never spoke of it either.

Nothing changed in the way she acted, or in the way she looked through me.

But I remember the way I touched my lips as she stalked away.

I remember how it felt and how it was everything I needed in that moment.

She could never have known what she'd done to me that day.

But neither of us would ever forget.