A kiss to tell ( jenlisa ) (GIP)

Part 15

J

My heart's being stupid. It keeps fluttering and flipping all sorts of ways like it's trying to escape or run away. I try to swallow again, but I can't. Instead, I snuggle closer to Lisa on the sofa, although every inch of her side is covered with mine right now.

It's just sex.

I keep reminding myself. Every time the nerves work their way up from my heart to my brain, I have to remind myself. It's just sex.

Not just that, but every part of me feels like it was supposed to be this way. Like Lisa was meant to have me. Even the little bits of me hidden away in the pages of my books, all the way down to the marrow in my bones; it was supposed to happen like this.

I haven't told her, although I almost did earlier. We were sitting on the sofa, but not cuddling like this, sitting cross-legged, and eating Chinese food from the cartons. She's been good at keeping the conversation going and giving me those cocky smiles. I think she's drawing it out on purpose.

First dinner and now a movie, although it's almost over.

And thus, my heart is doing that stupid thing knowing the movie will be over soon. I swallow it all down as best I can and nestle my head into Lisa's chest.

"You comfortable?" she asks me although it sounds like she's picking on me. I only hum a response.

"You can't go to sleep," she tells me, and instantly my eyelids fall shut just to fuck with her. She shrugs her shoulder and I give her a look.

"Stop moving," I complain in as flirtatious of a voice as I can and feel pride rise when she rewards me with that charming smile of hers that drives me wild.

She smells like fresh woods, the kind you want to get lost in; her body is hard and dominating. Every piece of her chiseled like Adonis. I splay my hand on her chest and revel in the fact that she's letting me.

Back in school, I thought that she was avoiding me because she was older. At least at first. Then when I realized who she was and why everyone else avoided her, I wondered how a girl like her could be interested in a girl like me. The more she avoided me, the stupider I felt.

When the only piece of reality you crave is revealed to be all in your head, it does something awful to you.

"I like you coming to me after work, but I could have picked you up." She starts up a conversation as the credits to the comedy scroll on the screen. If someone asked me to repeat a line from what we just watched, I'd come up with nothing. All I'm thinking about is how Lisa is going to fuck me.

I've masturbated but I don't know if I have a hymen or not. I've used a few toys I've read about in books although I don't often feel the need to do that. Not unless I read a steamier romance. Or one where the hero reminds me of Lisa.

"I wanted to leave work early. It was a short walk." I answer her with a shrug and try to keep my train of thought on the fact that she hasn't made a move yet. She hasn't done anything other than to put her arm around my shoulder and pull me to close to her under the covers on the sofa.

"You sure like to walk everywhere," she remarks like she doesn't like it.

"I don't mind it." It's one of the things that took me a long time to do alone. I don't know if it's because I was old enough to understand what happened to my mother, or if I was always afraid of walking alone, but learning to accept the fear and proving it wrong is one way to cope. "Sometimes it's nice," I add, swallowing down the memories that beg to ruin this moment.

Lisa shifts on the sofa and it dips, making me fall slightly.

"You ready for bed?" she asks me, pulling me back up by my waist and shifting me into her lap. Her warm breath tickles my shoulder as she kisses me for the first time since we came back to her place. Right on the crook of my neck, sending shivers down my body and hardening my nipples.