I Don't Expect the Sun to Love Me Back

1: You Beta Cuck

You could argue that stealing is good or bad depending on the circumstances. If you steal from a baker's shop, someone who spent years perfecting their craft and putting in all their effort just to make ends meet, then it is most certainly a bad thing. But if that person was stealing bread to feed their young children so they don't starve to death, then that's where the debates would begin.

"Yes, they're still bad for what they did."

"No, they did the right thing."

"Um, actchually, they were doing the good thing, but they did it the wrong way."

Um, okay. Whatever, nerd. Either way, there are many scenarios similar to this that bring up a lot of debate. Most times, if not all the time, there will always be disagreement no matter what.

"So no, officer. I don't believe that, while I did take this baguette without prior permission, that I should be punished for it," The Princess narrows her eyes at the Fire Elf in front of her.

Said elf was one of the head chefs in this castle, and he was not very impressed. This is not the first time the Princess has committed such bullshittery, but it doesn't make it less annoying when it happens anyway.

"Princess Caboose, that analogy is completely irrelevant right now," Chef Elliot holds back the exasperated sigh threatening to ruin his career, "You are the Princess of one of the most financially stable kingdoms in the land. You do not need to steal bread for your starving children. As a matter of fact, you don't even have children."

No one calls him by his real name though, these days he often goes by Local... For some reason... Definitely not an inside joke.

The light tan woman breaks into a grin, holding up finger guns with both hands, "Ahh, but you see! I can't afford to have children even if I wanted to! You see, Local, we live in a society-"

"-A society you helped build to be financially stable."

"-And in this society, you get judged for literally breathing the wrong way. Men will get mad at me if I don't want to have kids. But then they'll say stupid shit like, "Oh, if you can't afford to have kids, then you should've kept your legs closed."

Local furrows his black eyebrows together, "...Did you just impersonate King Giga?"

"The point I'm trying to make," Caboose continues smoothly, "is... Um... Ah..."

Well, shit. She didn't think she'd get this far. Local is usually giving her the "I'm Not Mad, Just Disappointed" speech by now, Caboose wasn't sure where to go from here. Local crosses his arms, fighting off the smug look that desperately wants to come out. The brunette princess doesn't much appreciate this, mainly because this will mean she must admit defeat and return the baguette.

"You know what!?" Caboose narrows her brown eyes and waves the baguette in front of herself, "I am a grown-ass woman, and I deserve some good fucking bread whenever I'm craving some good fucking bread!"

"Or you can give the baguette back now and have it with the Tomato Soup that'll be served with lunch soon."

"..."

"..."

"Fine."

Caboose hands over the warm bread, already mourning its loss. It's not as if Caboose was stingy either; she helps in the kitchen whenever she can (when the kitchen staff isn't already very busy so she doesn't get in their way). Local is just a little more strict about her diet since the princess is, admittedly, a bit of a glutton and doesn't watch what she eats or how much. The chef doesn't shame Caboose mind you, it was long ago when it was personally requested by the princess herself to help regulate her eating habits.