strings attached ; firstprince

chapter eight

Alex feels nauseous for a week following the charity ball. He reflects on that feeling of wanting to fight Connor whenever Henry would speak about him, how much Alex hated this faceless name for how much hurt he caused Henry but now, it's Alex who's hurt him. He broke down all of Henry's walls just to strike him in the heart harder than Connor ever did.

Alex has called Henry more times than he can count, leaving voicemails of desperate explanations and hearing nothing back. He's not expecting a response but he doesn't know what else he can do other than try.

June and Nora have tried keeping Alex company over the week, avoiding the topic of Henry like a plague but Alex can't seem to move past it. He's ruined something so good and he can't let it end like this.

When Alex wakes up a week after the ball, he does what he's done every day that week; check his phone for any response from Henry. Of course, when he opens his conversation with Henry, his messages still sit there.

Sunday 8:02 am

Please, let me explain?

Sunday 5:53 pm

I'm so fucking sorry.

Monday 2:34 pm

H?

delivered

Alex feels sick, it's now Saturday, exactly 7 days later and Alex hasn't seen or heard a thing. Alex can only imagine where he is or what he's doing, for all he knows he could be back in London by now. The thought of that makes him feel physically ill, so he tries not to think about that possibility.

Over the harrowing week of no contact with Henry, Alex has been chanelling his restless energy into two things; music and running.

So, Alex forces himself to get out of bed–otherwise he would rot there–and he makes himself change into a new shirt and running shorts. As Alex laces up his running shoes, he can feel the tension in his body, the restlessness that's been building up inside him for days just festering inside of him. Other than music, running has recently become his refuge, a way to escape the confines of his thoughts and release some tension, if only temporarily.

He steps outside and starts his jog, the rhythm of his feet hitting the pavement providing a sense of order in the chaos of his emotions. With each stride, he tries to regain some semblance of control over his life, to plan a way forward. At least with each step, he has control and everything feels a little less overwhelming.

Although, today's run is different. It's not just about escaping; it's about finding a way to fix what he's broken. Alex can't stand to look at his phone another morning with nothing waiting for him, he knows waiting won't fix a thing and he's determined to at least have Henry hear him out. So, a mental list he's been compiling during his runs takes shape in his mind.

He lists it out in his head.

One, he could write a poem. As he runs, lines of a verse begin to form in his head, which ends up being a mess of words and emotions. It doesn't take long for Alex to decide against it, he objectively sucks at poetry, he'll admit that.

Two, he could write a song. Music has always been a way for him to express his emotions, and maybe he could write a song expressing exactly how he feels. He imagines the melody, the chords, and the lyrics coming together but immediately reminds himself that for one, he has never fully written and composed a song before and two, he really wants to fix this sooner rather than later. Writing a song is definitely time consuming and Alex doesn't feel like he has a lot of that.

Three, he could make a playlist. Songs that remind him of Henry, songs that perfectly word how he feels. A Spotify playlist doesn't feel as personal. He considers to burning it onto a CD because it's a tangible expression of his feelings but, who has CD players anymore? Do people still have those?