My Lover

Chapter 10

20 minutes. All it took was 20 minutes for my whole life to change. 20 minutes that I spent looking at his latest post with his new girlfriend, Mei. Who also happens to be my ex-best friend. 

20 minutes was all it took for him to be killed. To bleed to death. 20 minutes turned green eyes with brightness to closed eyes that will never look around again.

To make one pink, soft, upturned lips turn to still, straight, colorless lips. To turn the radiant love of my life into a corpse, a t-shirt, a memory. 

20 minutes for Nathan to die. Murdered in his own home. Stabbed 143 times. It's almost unreal to think about. Even more unreal that there were no witnesses. My jaw drops and my phone does too as Mei sobs on the other end, revealing the gory details of how her stolen propert- I mean, boyfriend was killed. 

And all I can think is, why? 

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I smooth out my black sundress and look around just to see the sun shining. Because I'm walking up the stairs of my church on the way to my ex's funeral, this is outrageous. I see Mei looking around with a blank face, and I hug her despite how much I wanted to punch her in her damn face.

"Look, it's okay. We'll figure out who did this." I say, rubbing her back.

She nods and swiftly walks over to her parents, sitting with them. I sat with Nathan's parents, who signaled for me to come over.

The service goes on and I sneak occasional glances at Mei, who doesn't even seem upset. And when it ends, she's the first out of the door. Weird. 

I cry in the comfort of my room, taking all the Polaroids of him and me and staring at them. Not even gonna bother to go through my camera roll. I'll only cry harder. I get in the shower and sink into the tub, taking my razor and hastily taking one of the blades out, dragging it across my skin.

Ruby-red beads of blood collect on the line as I cut more and more and more until there are 143  cuts on my body. I sit there and let the blood mix with the warm bath water and feel myself fading away in my bathtub. I know I'm only 17, but what's the point?

My eyes closed and I let out a painful exhale. Lord, take me away... 

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My eyes flutter open and I see a popcorn ceiling. No, no... Please don't let me be in the-

"Miss Leilani?" I hear a voice say. I look over and see an IV bag hooked up to my arm, and bandages all over my body. I try to move just to feel stinging all over the place, my wounds opening back up.

"FUCK!" I yell, wincing in pain. "Sorry, hi. I'm Leilani." I mutter.

"I know. I'm your doctor, Leilani," She says, smiling sweetly. "Do you know where you are?" She asks.

"I hope I'm not in the hospital," I mutter.

"Well, I guess you won't like what I'm about to tell you." She says, chuckling.

"I'm in the hospital?"

"You're in the hospital." 

"Damn! Who found me?" I ask.

"A guy named Jace. Do you know who he is?" She says.

"Um, yes. We... have a history together," I say. "How did he find me?" I ask.

"Well, he tried to Facetime you numerous times, and somehow... your phone answered one of the calls and it was just silence interrupted by occasional water droplets, angled at the ceiling," She says, sighing. "He broke through your window and instantly brought you here."

I nod and then I hear a knock at the door. "Come on in!" I say.

"I'll leave you be." The doctor says before leaving. As she leaves, Jace enters the room with a bouquet of peonies and a teddy bear. 

"Lei? You okay?" He asks, looking extremely concerned. 

"Yeah, I guess. You?" I ask.

"I mean I wish I could say I was. But the love of my life just tried to kill herself so I'm ki- Ohh, god. Did I just say that out loud?" He says, face falling. 

"The 'love of my life' part? Yes," I say grinning. "But don't be embarrassed. The heart wants what the heart wants." 

"Well, if you're okay with it... I love you. You already knew this but to be honest, I feel like you need to hear this. I love your hair, I love your smile, I love your laugh, I love your humor, I love how smart you are, I love how motherly and caring you are, I love everything about you and you don't understand how much you mean to me. I was tempted to take my damn self out just because I don't want to be in a world you aren't in." 

I look at him, baffled. "C'mere." I say softly. He walks over to me and leans down, kissing me.

I kiss him back, and sigh as he gently and tenderly kisses me.