Chapter 5: Guilt

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Tsepo is at the restaurant having breakfast since he was fancying something different from what he normally eats at his house. Well, that’s the thing with being super rich like him, you get to do
whatever you want with your money. He hasn’t been with his friends, Jabu and Sbu since that day he left with Grace even though they do talk on the phone. As he is enjoying his deliciously looking breakfast of two eggs, touch of mushrooms and beacon plus a fruit juice, a woman comes and sits next to him. He looks and thinks to himself, damn this is one fine girl but he isn’t really in the mood for that. She is wearing a short summer dress that reveals a beautiful skin. Now he is trying to not be rude to her but he really isn’t comfortable eating with someone sitting there uninvited.
“Hi there, how are you?” the lady says. Tsepo thinks for a second to say what is really on his mind but he decides to say, “Hello. I’m okay thanks, how are you?” instead. “I’m okay thanks, my name is Lumka Xholwa and don’t bother telling me your name, I know who you are” the lady says which puzzles Tsepo a little bit as he’s trying to recall if he knows this woman at all.
“oh wow, I’m flattered that you know me but I just hope you know me in a good way” he says as he sips on his juice. “Oh well that’s a matter of perspective now, isn’t it?” Lumka says as she lifts her hand to call on the waiter who comes quick. “Can I join you if you don’t mind?” she asks. Tsepo has a good mind of saying no since he feels this is rather rude to be calling a waiter before asking
permission to sit. But he doesn’t want to be rude, “Oh yeah sure it’ okay” he says reluctantly to which Lumka smiles and looks at the waiter, “Can I have one bran muffin and coffee, black please” she says. And the waiter takes the order and leaves. “Oh wow, us that all you will have? You are
really minding that figure huh?” Tsepo says with a smile, really trying hard to make a decent
conversation.
“Oh yeah, it’s the demands of the job. So one can’t be too careful hey?” Lumka says as she takes her shades and immediately Tsepo thinks to himself Wow, such beautiful eyes right there! “So what kind of job is that?” he asks with curiosity as he continues to drink his juice.
“I’m a model” Lumka says looking right into Tsepo's eyes trying to read him. Tsepo thinks for a second, “Oh, of course I thought you looked familiar, I was busy cracking my head trying to recall from where but now I remember. I think I must have read some magazine somewhere, where you featured” he says but before Lumka could respond, the waiter comes with her order. “Thank you very much” she says to the waiter, who nods and walks away. “Well I’m surprised, a man that reads a magazine? Hahaha, I thought you’d say TV maybe” she says as she laughs loud. “Men read magazines too you know. Well, honestly I was in the waiting area of the place I was visiting and the magazine was there so I read a little, hahaha” Tsepo says as he laughs too.
“Well miss Xholwa, please enjoy your breakfast I have to run” he says but as he attempts to stand up leave Lumka stops him by holding his hand, “Oh hey you will leave me hanging just like that? Won’t you wait at least until I’m done with my coffee as well?' she says but as Tsepo attempts to respond, she jumps in, “Okay, tell you what? Would you like to go out some time, or maybe see a
movie with me one of these days?” she asks with a smile but this catches Tsepo off guard as he feels
Wow this woman doesn’t really hold back, does she? “uhmm, I’m flattered, I really am but I really can’t I’m sorry. So you have yourself a great day, Lumka” he says as he stands up and goes out if the
restaurant, leaving Lumka speechless.
***

Buhle and friends are also having breakfast but on the other side of the city in a very quiet restaurant. They usually hangout in restaurants by the beach but this time they just felt they needed a change scenery. It is actually the first time they meet since that day at Buhle’s birthday, which was a little while ago. The mood here isn’t as vibey as always when these four meet, perhaps because of the shenanigans some of them have been up to.
“I’m actually happy guys that today we finally managed to hang out together, it’s been a little while hey” Lerato says. “But why does it feel like I’m the only one who really is excited here?” as she looks at her friends who each look away. That question brings a little awkward moment in the room as all the ladies are thinking about what Lerato is saying.
“I’m sorry my friend, it’s just that I have a lot on my hey but yeah I suppose I needed this moment with you guys” Buhle says as he sips on her fruit juice. “What’s wrong darling? Is everything okay back home?” Lindiwe asks curiously to which Buhle takes a second to think, “Well it depends on what you mean by okay hey” she says. “I don’t know what is okay and what isn’t anymore, things are just not the same anymore between me and Sbu” her voice begins to sound sad and at that
moment Katlego wishes the earth could open up and swallow her, the way she is so embarrassed by this and the guilt she is feeling over sleeping with her best friend’s husband. She can’t even look at anyone in the eyes as she feels they can all see through her.
“But enough about me, what’s going on with you? You look a little down yourself. Is everything okay with Bheki or the business?” Buhle asks Lindiwe with curiosity. “Uhmm, business is doing okay as you guys must know, right?” Lindiwe says with a blushing smile and immediately Lerato jumps in, “Oh yeah girl you are launching few satellite hotels across the country soon, congratulations with
that. You are doing really great” she says as she lifts her glass up to which all the ladies do.
“Thank you girls, very much” Lindiwe says. “Well but all that is threatened by my husband’s business dealings. There’s talk of some tender irregularities on some of his businesses and if such things
come out it may threaten my business as well” she says with a worried face. “But how do you know all that? I mean surely they won’t prove anything, would they? It’s just politics love, I don’t think you need to worry yourself about all that, just stay focused on your thing?” Katlego says as she brushes her friend’s shoulder. “And you? Why are you so down? Since we’ve been here you have been
looking at your watch like you really can’t wait to get out of this place. What are we boring you?” Buhle asks Katlego as she sips on her juice. This catches Katlego off guard a little bit.
“oh I’m sorry my friend, I just haven’t been feeling well the past couple of days. I thought it’s just stomach bug that will go away but it hasn’t. I’m sorry guys for being a mood killer” Katlego says as she tries by all means to avoid eye contact with everyone. But it doesn’t look like her friends have actually noticed any of that.
“Okay you guys, I need to go to the loo, where’s the rest room here?” Lerato says as she stands up. “Oh, you go to the other side by the smoking area. We are by the entrance side; restrooms are on that side back” Katlego says as she points to the direction Lerato must take. “Oh come on, how
ridiculous is that? Couldn’t they have built another one this side for peppy who are sitting in this
area? Just everyone goes and turn around on the other side? How would they even know if I’m running away without paying since they can’t see me? That is why we should have gone to Lindy Hotel restaurant, it is super classy” Lerato says as she complains all the way out. But her friends just laugh about it.
When Lerato gets to the other side of the restaurant, she sees Tendai sitting with another gentleman having breakfast in the corner somewhere and thinks to herself, Wow, that guy with the MEC is a real snack, I really have to have some. But she doesn’t go to greet, as she rushes to the restroom.

***



So, as Lerato had seen, Tendai is having breakfast with a gentleman who’s dressed in a tailor made black suit with a white shirt. He looks like a serious guy who is rich. But then of course, Tendai is always meeting with business people, politicians and rich people. It’s a good thing though that he has no idea that Buhle is also here. They haven’t visited each since that day they slept together but they call and text each other almost every day now, so he probably would have wanted to speak to her in front of her friends.
“Look, man I have a job for you. It is high priority and time frame is tight. I need it handled as quick as possible” Tendai says to the gentleman sitting with him. “Here’s his file” as he slowly and carefully slides the brown envelope towards the guy who also carefully takes it. “So what are we
talking about here? Politician or business rival?” the gentleman asks” Tendai first looks around to see if anyone is listening, “Ndoda, since when do you ask such questions?” he’s trying to whisper. “I gave you the
file, so everything you need is in there, alright?” he says looking a little agitated. “Oh and this is half of the payment. You will get the other half when the job is done” he says as he slides another envelope to Ndoda, who slowly takes it and put it in the inner pocket of his jacket.
“And please no witnesses on this. The last thing I want is a storm that cooks around me because of sloppiness. Remember not to be calling me on my cell or my home's line. You know how we
communicate” Tendai says as he takes a huge chunk off the spoon as Ndoda stands up and walks away without looking back.
***
On one side of the City, Sbu has come to meet Grace who had asked to see him, she said it’s urgent. They are meeting in a public area, a place that almost looks like a park because it has benches where people sit and read while others exercise or walk their dogs. It is almost noon so people are pouring in and that’s how Grace wants it.
“Thank you for coming over so quickly. I hope your wife won’t mind me stealing you for a few minutes” Grace says to Sbu who comes and sits next to her. “How is Naledi?” she asks but Sbu
seems to have lost words there for a second. “Uhmm, Naleli is okay thank you” he says. “Uhmm you look good. You have healed well in your face. I hope that means you are coming back to work; this break has been very long hey” he says trying to make a joke but Grace doesn’t smile at all. “Uhmm, yeah that’s why I called you here” she says. “Look Sbu I just want to thank you for everything you have done for me okay? For the opportunity to come and work in your company as your PA. This job has taught me a lot and I take nothing for granted there. But I’m tendering my resignation, this coming week will be my last, just to ensure you have a smooth transition” as she looks at him in the eyes.
Sbu almost falls off the bench with this. This is the last thing he expected to hear today. He’s been struggling as it is without Grace ever since she went on leave after that incident during Buhle’s party.
He takes a minute to try and find words to use in response but nothing comes to mind and Grace can see that. So she jumps in first, “Look, please don’t try and make me change my mind because I won’t. I’ve thought long and hard about this. In fact it took me longer, it was long overdue. I should have done this a little earlier but…” she doesn’t finish as Sbu interrupts her, “Grace, is this about my
wife? Oh man I’m so sorry about that. Look I really never...” he doesn’t finish hinse as Grace jump in,

“No Sbu, it is about my emotional and mental wellbeing. I need to look after me for a change and this can’t happen while I work for you. And then yes, it is also about your wife Sbu. She is a very mean person. I don’t know about towards other people, but towards me? Definitely, she’s mean and I don’t think I have deserved the hate from her because I know that I have done nothing to deserve it” she says as her voice becomes a little sad.
“Grace can we please talk about it a little more, I’m begging you” Sbu says with a begging voice as he looks around to see if anyone is watching them. “Look we can even discuss a raise if that can
persuade you to stay. How much do you want because I’m sure we can work out…” he doesn’t finish as Grace cuts in again, “No, no, no Sbu” she says. “You see? This is what I’m talking about. This isn’t about money; can’t you see that? It’s about my wellbeing, what’s good for me” she says.
That seems to make Sbu thinks as he sighs deeply. “What is going to happen with my daughter now? She’s so used to have you around helping her with her homework or picking her up from school. What am I going to do now? This will…” he doesn’t finish again as Grace jumps in, “That’s another problem Sbu” she says. “You hired me as your PA, to assist you with work related duties
but I quickly became a maid who runs your house errands. Don’t get me wrong please…I love Naledi and you know that. But I was doing everything your maid or your wife should be doing only for her to insult me and call me names. She feels I’m taking her place. Well she will be thrilled to know that
it is no longer the case. She has her family all to herself now” she says as she looks away.

Awkward silence passes by after that as both aren’t looking at each other or just lost for words for a moment. They watch people exercise in the park and others playing with their dogs. “Look, I guess I understand Grace. I really do understand and I’m sorry that I have not been considerate towards your feelings and thinking. Look don’t worry about it okay? I will make a plan on your replacement” Sbu says as he breaks the silence.
“Look I got to run okay? I’ve got a few things that I really need to take care of. I will see you on Monday morning” Grace says as she stands up and walks away, leaving Sbu feeling defeated on the bench. Part of him is confused as what will do now without one person who seemed to put everything together. Another part of him is upset that his marriage issues have caused all this. Yet still another part of him is furious at his wife for having been at the centre of all this since she has always given Grace a hard time. But what can he do now? Grace is gone, he needs to find a way to fix all this up and get replace for her and hope it’s someone who can be just as good at the job as Grace was. For another hour or so he sits there, just watching people come and go in the park.
***


Later on, at Sbu’s house it’s supper time and for a change the when family is present. But one thing can’t be ignored though, the tension and a sombre mood. This time Buhle has cooked since she’s off and after seeing her friends earlier in in the day, she feels a little refreshed. But what happened that day on her birthday party has never been addressed, it was left just like that.
“Babe, how is your week next week? I will be having terrible working shifts and I was wondering if you could fetch Naledi from school and help out with her homework and things like that if…” Buhle says but she doesn’t as Sbu cuts her off, “Yea I will manage except maybe Wednesday since I will be working late with meetings, so can you make a plan for that day?” he says as he looks at his
daughter who is oblivious as she is eating her food. There’s a little silence in the room as Buhle tries to think, “Uhmm, can’t you ask Grace to come and help out? I know that Naledi is really fond of

her” she says with a smile as she also looks at her daughter. But Sbu takes a minute to think and looks at Naledi once again and sighs deeply, “Grace quit. So I can’t ask her?” he says.
This comes as a shock to Buhle, who really didn’t expect that. “Darling please go brush your teeth when you are done okay?” she says to Naledi who duly obliges as she walks upstairs. Awkward moment passes as both of them try by all means to avoid eye contact.
“Uhmm when did Grace quit her job? You accepted?” Buhle asks with a nervous voice. But this seems to rub Sbu the wrong way, “Why do you care if I accepted?” he says. “It’s not like she was asking for permission to quit. She’s home okay? So now we need to make a plan for our daughter. We obviously will have to make sacrifices because we don’t have a nanny” he says as he cuts the stake and chews it hard. Buhle thinks for a second, “But can’t you ask Grace to stay? Can’t you talk her out of quitting? I mean we really need her right now with all our schedules...” she says but out of irritation, Sbu cuts her off, “I must ask her to not quit as my PA? Yeah sure…but you forget one thing…she was my PA not our maid. She didn’t work for this house but she was my PA.
She helped Naledi with homework or picked her up because she was nice, trying to help us. She wasn’t being paid for it Buhle. She didn’t have to do it at all, do you get that? And what did you do when she tried thelp? Huh? Did you not call her name’s? Did you not accuse the girl of sleeping with me? Did you not accuse her of trying to warm her way into this house and replace you as my wife? Did you once ever say thank you to her, for picking up your child from school, preparing her lunch books or helping her with her homework? Did you? Or all you ever did was just spitting in her face
with all the accusations you made against her? Well, she is gone now. After you cut her face the other day, that was it for the poor girl. Her random acts of kindness caused her nothing but grief”
As soon as Sbu says that, Buhle just runs upstairs with tears falling down her face. She leaves Sbu sitting in the dining room all by himself, again. Damnit, I could have handled this situation a little better than this he thinks to himself. He stands up and goes to the cardboard and finds himself a bottle of whiskey. He pours a double and take it in one go. This is not going to be enough; he thinks to himself. So he takes the whole bottle and goes to the lounge, turns on the TV and drink himself away.

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