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❝the feeling that I'm losing her forever and without really entering her world❞
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Lyra sat on the balcony with her shoulder against the stone baluster, her knees hugged to her chest as she stared up at the night sky, locating the constellations that she and the members of her family were named after. She looked up when she heard the door open. Bellatrix stepped outside. She slowly approached Lyra and sat down next to her, holding out a cup of tea.
Lyra blinked. She stared down at the tea, eyeing it suspiciously.
As if reading her mind – which she probably was – Bellatrix said, "Don't worry. I didn't poison it."
Hesitantly, Lyra took the cup of tea. She took a small sip. After a moment when nothing happened, she decided that it was indeed safe to drink and took another sip.
Summer was here. The Colemans invited Lyra to come with them on holiday, and when they returned, she, Draco, Aliyah, and Hermione Granger would be returning to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry upon Professor McGonagall's request. She offered the four of them jobs as Junior Heads of House as part of the new Hogwarts Alumni Programme. They'd be responsible for discipline and assisting the professors, as well as helping students in their house with whatever they might need.
She was leaving the nest, and Bellatrix Lestrange was regretting every decision she's made over the last 19 years of Lyra's life.
"Are you all packed?" Bellatrix asked quietly.
Lyra nodded.
They were quiet for a while. Even though things were slowly getting better between them, Lyra was still a little anxious whenever she was alone with her.
"I'm sorry," Bellatrix whispered after a few minutes of silence. Lyra set her teacup down and looked up at her, her ocean eyes sparkling with tears at the sincerity in her voice. "I've been a horrible sister. I..." Bellatrix took a deep breath and shut her eyes for a moment. "I'm sorry for all the times I hurt you, and shouted at you, a-and made you feel like you were worthless. You're not weak or pathetic...You're...You're one of the bravest girls I know...A-And I am so proud to call you a member of my family."
A tear fell down Lyra's cheek. She threw her arms around Bellatrix's shoulders and tucked her head into the crook of her neck. "That's all I've ever wanted to hear you say," Lyra said, her voice breaking.
Bellatrix wrapped her arms around Lyra's small body and held her close, one hand on the back of her head and the other rubbing her back. "There are no excuses." She sighed. "I got caught up in being a Death Eater and put a cruel man's needs before those of my own family...Lyra, you have to know...if I could go back and change it, believe me, I would. I would do it all over if it meant getting a second chance to be your big sister, because that is what I regret the most...One blink and you were all grown up...You're leaving now, and...and I wish I would've been there for you like I should've."
"I-I'm sorry I said I hated you," Lyra whispered, lifting her head. Her cheeks were damp with tears. She lightly twirled one of Bellatrix's long curls between her fingers. "I didn't mean it."
"Oh, little one..." Bellatrix used the pad of her thumb to gently wipe the tears off of Lyra's cheeks. "You had every right in the world to say you hated me...And if you want to leave forever and never return...I'll understand."
"I don't want to leave forever." Lyra shook her head, a few more tears falling down her cheeks. "I'll come back for Christmas and summer holidays, and I-I'll write every couple weeks to let everyone know how I'm doing and how things are going."
Bellatrix hugged Lyra close again, the younger girl's body trembling as she cried quietly. "Don't cry," she whispered, fighting back tears of her own. She was going to miss her. She spent so long being so cruel to her when she could've formed a sisterly bond with her. But now that things were getting better, Lyra was leaving.
She used to love it when Lyra would leave for school at the end of the summer break. It was frustrating having a sister that was so much younger than her. She and Narcissa were left with the responsibility of raising her when their parents died, and Bellatrix was still so hurt from losing Andromeda that she was scared to let her get close to her.
While Lyra looked a lot like Narcissa, she was so much more like Andromeda and Sirius. When she was away at school, Bellatrix didn't have to be reminded of everything that she had lost because of her family's beliefs.
"I was wrong," Bellatrix said quietly. Lyra looked up at her, her brows furrowing a little in confusion. "Blood purity..." She shook her head. "You were right. We're all magical, even if some witches and wizards come from Muggles...You're not a blood traitor...And you're not a disgrace because you were sorted into Hufflepuff." She gently wiped a tear off of her baby sister's cheek. "I messed up so bad when you were little. I was brainwashed from the way I was raised, and I was too busy trying to force that image of perfection on you that I didn't realize how special you were in your own way."
"I always thought that being a Black was the worst thing in the world," Lyra admitted, her voice soft. She took a deep breath. "But...I am proud to be a part of this family. You, Narcissa, Andromeda, and Sirius...You've all taught me so much."
"Like how to be terrified in your own home?" Bellatrix asked sarcastically, smiling a little when Lyra chuckled. "I don't know how you can find that amusing."
"Honestly," Lyra sighed, "you're not so scary...Not anymore."
Bellatrix kissed Lyra's forehead and pulled her into another hug. "I love you, Lyra...And I'm so sorry that I never showed it."
Lyra smiled softly, tears filling her eyes once more. She shut her eyes tight and melted into her older sister's embrace. "I love you too, Bella," she whispered. "...And I forgive you."
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a/n
alright, i think i'm gonna leave this story here! i can't really think of anything else to add since the whole point was for bellatrix to fix what she broke with lyra, so thank you all for reading!!
