romeo & juliet - theo nott

20 - agony

irl

it was reaching the end of the first week of october, signifying nearly two whole weeks since jules had cut off all contact with theo.

he had tried reaching out, replying to her stories and commenting on her posts, before she blocked him on there as well. ever since her messy relationship with zach, she had taken the approach of removing anything and anyone negative out of her life, and it had always seemed to work. yet this time, jules felt sort of empty, an embarrassing kind of hollow that she knew she shouldn't be feeling. it was irrational— she'd only known theo for a couple of months, only meeting him alone for the last few weeks after potions, yet she enjoyed her time with him thoroughly. he had become someone of a constant in her life, a person she felt she could rely on for never doing the unexpected, yet he had done just that.

she wouldn't listen to any of her friends telling her this was all miscommunication, and soon any topic that revolved around theo was banned. she knew she was being petty, and really should hear him out because they weren't in a relationship, they weren't even officially talking, yet jules was truly hurt. she'd let all this information of theo being obsessed with her, and his constant flirting, cloud her judgement and blind her from the reality that he was just a shitty guy that took girls for granted. he was just another boy that only wanted her for her body, and after zach, jules didn't think she could take it.

because at the end of the day, love is just a spell created by men to give women something to play with instead of power

yet the thought of being with theo, even if it was purely sexual, felt so appealing. jules knew it was toxic to pine over someone who has little respect or regard for her, yet something about theo was so alluring. maybe if she couldn't have him fully, she'd be able to have him simply for a moment. a moment of pure bliss, connected with one another on a physical level, because surely a solely sexual relationship was better than none at all, even if it wasn't real.

her thoughts were cut off when she felt another small stream of hot tears fall down her face. crying seemed to be the only thing she could let out, and jules felt pathetic— crying over a boy she barely knew, how cliche could she be. hannah and susan were sat on either side of her, their trivial topic barely registering to jules as she got lost in her thoughts. it seemed they noticed her disappearance and tears at the same time she did, because all conversation quickly stopped.

susan's voice was calming and gentle, as it always was, "you've barely eaten any dinner, are you not hungry?"

"i'm fine," deny, deny, deny, "just tired is all."

"no, you're not fine, please don't lie to us,"

those words were enough to break jules completely, tears falling even more as she sat there highly embarrassed. other people's concern was always her breaking point, she hated to think she'd unintentionally hurt one of her friends.

"i'm sorry, this is so embarrassing, it just really hurts."

"it's not embarrassing jules, we all cry, honestly nothing to be ashamed of." hannah said, eliciting a slight laugh from jules, "why don't we all go up to our dorm? we can stop off at the kitchens if you'd prefer?"

this moment seemed the worst for jules to meet eyes with theo, yet that's exactly what happened. her embarrassment grew tenfold, this meal was practically torture, several others noting jules' upset.

theodore's eyes never left her's as she spoke, "i think i'll go on up now, let you two finish your meal."

"are you sure?" susan asked with concern written incredibly obviously all over face, "we don't mind coming with."