"CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT" • CHENFORD IMAGINES

"𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚊𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚗𝚘𝚠."

SPOILER ALERT
If the events of 4x1 happened a little differently...

Lucy Chen's world had ended. The world seemed to be moving in slow motion around her. People were speaking and bodies were bustling around the police station, yet she stayed still. She opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. There simply were none.

Her best friend... her roommate... was dead.

Jackson was dead. She'd never see his million dollar smile again or hear his joyful laugh. She'd never have another one of his famous pep talks or smell the way his body wash seemed to waft throughout their apartment. She'd never feel his arms wrap around her in a tight bear hug again, and that thought alone sent her into a full blown spiral.

Lucy couldn't breathe. It had been years since she experienced a panic attack, her last one coming when she was in a car crash when she was nineteen. She had always been really good at handling her emotions, but there was no way she could anymore. Jackson was gone. He had been gone for over twenty four hours, but finally, it was hitting her. She was clocked out and it was time for her to go home to her quiet, empty apartment. Lucy had always seen herself as strong, but she was nowhere near strong enough for that.

Lucy sucked in air, trying to catch her breath, but she couldn't. She couldn't breathe. She brought her hand up to her heaving chest, feeling her heart pound against it. Hot tears streamed down her cheeks, and slowly she felt her knees buckle underneath her. She tried to brace herself for impact, but it never came.

"I've got you," she felt two strong hands steady her. "Breathe, Chen. Eyes on me."

She stared up at Tim Bradford, feeling herself slowly return back to reality. She focused on him, trying to match his breathing. He moved his hands from her waist to her shoulders, sadness written all over his face.

"Deep breaths," Tim whispered to Lucy, slowly beginning to guide her into the calmness of his office. "Match my breathing, Luce. In and out."

Tim watched her as she drew in breath after breath, her tears continuing to escape from her eyes. He took deep breaths with her and slowly, she began to calm down. Tim had seen Lucy a lot of ways, but never like this. He had never seen her so truly broken.

He brought his thumbs up to Lucy's cheeks and swept away her tears. The last day had been hell. They were both exhausted beyond belief – physically, emotionally, mentally. Lopez was still missing, his best friend, and Lucy's was dead. The whole department was covered in a blanket of grief and worry, but right now, there was truly nothing they could do. They needed rest; something neither of them had gotten. If there were any breaks in the case or if they were needed, they would get a call.

Until then...

"You don't need to be alone right now," Tim whispered to Lucy, her breathing more steady. "You're coming home with me tonight, okay?"

Tim couldn't deny that Lucy Chen had wormed her way into his heart. He wasn't sure in what way – if it was just as a friend or possibly something more. Now wasn't the time to figure it out, though. He'd dissect his feelings on a day when they weren't grieving. Maybe.

Lucy nodded, feeling relieved that she wouldn't have to be alone tonight. She knew she wouldn't be getting much sleep, but she was beyond ready to get out of her uniform and take a shower. Wash away the day. She felt Tim's hand on the small of her back, guiding her towards the locker room. His touch seemed almost hesitant, but nonetheless she appreciated it. It was oddly comforting, knowing that he was here for her.

They went their separate ways at the locker rooms, both of them heading towards the showers. It took them both less than ten minutes to shower and get dressed in their plain clothes.