"Shot while trying to escape," the captain said. "Can't argue with that." He looked at us, as if daring us to contradict him. His only answer was a chorus of agreement.
"Fits with what I saw."
"Yeah. Hate to think what would have happened if she'd got away."
"Women are the worst."
I looked away from the corpse, sick with shame. A voice in my head whispered, Say something! But, like the hypocrite I was, I stayed silent. It wasn't until we got back to the barracks that I had enough courage to speak. I grabbed Juarez, pulled him into a corner and shoved him up against the wall.
"You bastard," I hissed.
Juarez flashed me that shit-eating grin of his. "What?" he asked.
"You know. That woman you shot. That wasn't a righteous kill - and you know it!"
Juarez spread his arms wide, like Christ crucified. "So? The captain said it was good."
"The captain's a lying piece of crap!" I fought back the urge to scream the words in his face.
"Well, I didn't hear you calling me out."
I raised my fist. I so badly wanted to smack Juarez in the mouth. Then shame overtook me. He was right. I hadn't done anything to stop him. I stepped back.
"That's what I thought," Juarez said. He pushed me to one side and made to walk away. Then he stopped. "Just remember," he said,"who's got your back when we're out there - 'kay?"
The next night, the squad was given furlough as a reward for 'neutralising a rebel'. I went with the others and pretended to enjoy myself. But, as soon as I got a chance, I slipped away. Nobody noticed.
A week later, the squad was back on patrol in the barrio. Before we had set out, the captain had briefed us. "You'll take this block. We'll go in teams of two. Don't lose sight of your partner. Stick to the grid. We haven't had any definite intel, but that doesn't mean we don't have to be careful." Then the captain handed out our individual orders.
When he came to Juarez, I put up my hand. "Sir! I'll go with Juarez!"
The captain gave me a questioning look. "Are you sure? I'd heard there had been -."
"No, sir!" I tried to sound eager. "We're good."
Together, Juarez and I set off into the streets of the barrio. We kept close, watching each other as much as we watched our surroundings. Juarez was still suspicious. "Why'd you volunteer to come with me?" he asked.
"I know who my - Whoa! There!" I pointed down an alley, then set off at a run. Juarez followed eagerly. I turned into a dead-end courtyard and stopped. Juarez arrived, out of breath.
"What is it?" he panted.
I pointed at Juarez. "That's him!" Around the courtyard, doors and windows opened, and a silent mob emerged. Their leader approached me. "Do we have our understanding?" I asked her.
She nodded.
I put down my rifle and braced myself for the pain to come. Behind me, Juarez screamed.
