⌞ always the angel, never a god ⌝

⌞ sixteen : blue or red? ⌝

" You know what I'm going to say, kid. Chase him down."

___

I laid on the floor of my room. All was quiet in the world. I always found it comforting to wake up before everyone else on a race day. To just lay there, listening to the city before it was crowded with screaming fans, people who had come from far and wide to watch these cars race on one of the most memorable tracks in the world. 

It was the only time in the world that I could have to myself. And I treasured it. Like an heirloom that I was scared to lose. It felt personal, something sacred. Nothing could go wrong at this time. No one to be, no one to take care of, no role to play. Just me. And the world. 

My attention stayed on the dress, this morning. A beautiful piece of work. But I already knew that. What got me was the blue. Yesterday hovered in my mind. How comfortable I felt in the garage, how welcoming everyone was, just everything about that day. It was the most fun I had in ages. And even the lecture I had received after couldn't even ruin the high I received from the hours I spent there. 

And the blue of the dress, now it felt like a message. I was probably reading too much into it as I always did. Overthinking even the littlest things. But I felt a bit of comfort to know that I would be wearing blue today. 

There was a knock on my door and I sat up, confused as to who would be up this early. "Yeah, come in." 

The door opened and it was Charlie. I smiled, as he came to sit on the floor next to me. I leaned my head on his shoulder and he put his head on mine. 

"What's up, Charlie?" 

"Couldn't sleep." 

I nodded. "Want to talk about it or just sit here?" 

"Can we just sit?" 

"Always." 

He leaned his weight on me and I took it. I always wondered what went on in his mind. Charlie was never one to talk, he always kept his thoughts to himself until he broke. But I was always there to pick up the pieces. I just hoped that this wasn't what this was. 

He had been through a lot the past couple of weeks. With all the training that Father had been putting him through. Almost half of his workouts were ones I didn't attend and I struggled with the ones I went to. I wondered how he was handling it all and I tried to help with whatever I could. But- it was Charlie. He was going to do it himself. 

"I can practically hear you thinking, Lu." 

I snorted. "Sorry." 

"It's fine." He looked down at me. "You never told me about yesterday." 

"Do you actually want to know about it?" 

"Duh. You got to spend the entire day with Lewis Hamilton." He adjusted so he could fully look at me. "Tell me everything." 

___

Race day. The worst thing in the world for an introvert. It was so loud that I could hear it from the car. The chants, the people cheering, the sound of announcers. All of it. I gripped my bag, knuckles white. Lore was too busy keeping Arty from acting a fool to calm me down. Charlie was in his own world and Jules had left earlier.