⌞ always the angel, never a god ⌝

*⌞ thirty-five : my mama ⌝*

( mentions of abuse, drinking  )

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" I hope you know I'll always be here when you need me. "

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I woke up to my alarm and sat up, rubbing my eyes. When they opened, I saw the sun coming through my windows. Why was there sun if I was supposed to wake up early... I grabbed my phone and checked the time—7:45 am. 

"Shit." 

I got out of bed and rushed down the stairs to see Father sitting at the table. Mother had already left to take the boys to school. I had overslept. Not even overslept, I had slept through everything. I stopped myself on the other side of the table. 

"Father." 

"Sit." 

I didn't want to. I knew what was coming but I couldn't argue, so I took the seat. He didn't look up from his coffee and I wondered if he had put anything in it. He didn't need alcohol to lose his temper but it did help. And he would take any excuse to get a drink. 

"You're late." 

"I know-"

"Stop talking." 

I looked down at my hands, they were already shaking and I knew that I wasn't going to make it to school today. It had been years since I had missed school for 'being sick' and it was back all because Jules wasn't here to protect me anymore. 

"You had one rule. Get the chores done." He looked up at me, hand holding the mug a bit tighter. "And yet, you're so incompetent that you cannot do a simple thing." 

I nodded, it was the only thing I could do. Speaking would get the mug thrown at me and just sitting here would make him yell until I spoke and then the mug would be thrown. I just needed to survive. 

"Look at me when I'm speaking to you." 

I looked up and saw the red around his eyes. He had been drinking for a while. My heart dropped because there was no way out of this. No matter what I did, there would be something wrong with it. 

"You have one job, one! And I will be damned if you think you can defy the rules of this house because some man came in and treats you like daddy." 

I cringed as he yelled which was the wrong thing to do. The mug came past my ear and shattered on the wall behind me. Silent tears rolled down my face as he came around to me. He dragged me to my feet and pushed me towards the glass, enough that I fell to my knees. I tried not to hiss as the pieces dug into my knees. 

"Get it cleaned up." 

I nodded and started to pick up the pieces. They cut my hands as I held them, trying to blink away the tears so I could see them. But it didn't matter, it still cut up my hands. It took me a bit before I stood up, walking over to the trash to throw the pieces away. I took a second to dig the one's out of my knee. 

The blood was running down my legs and the sight was a reality check. But I rushed into the kitchen to wipe the blood away before it got on the floor. That would be more to clean up and a mess was going to send him over. 

"Eilulia." 

I cursed under my breath and threw the napkin into the trash, running back into the sitting room. I stayed standing this time, I wouldn't be sitting with my knees the way they were but it didn't seem to matter to him. He just glared at me. 

"There's a new list, get it done before your mother gets home." 

_

I heard the door open and rushed to throw the last of the trash into the can, going to stand in the sitting room. Mother was humming something to herself as she walked in but stopped when she saw me. 

"Eli..." 

"I got all of them done, Mama. I swear." 

I was tripping over my words but she dropped her purse and walked over to me, forcing me into the nearest chair. She pinned her hair back as she kneeled, looking over my legs. I hadn't had time to clean them after Father left so they were covered in dry blood. It hurt but I didn't have the time. 

"Oh, my love.." 

"It's my fault, Mama. I slept in. I should have been awake." 

She didn't say anything as she stood up and walked into the master bedroom. My heart jumped but she only came back with the first aid kit. The tension held in my shoulders since this morning left as she started to clean up my legs. Nothing was said as she cleaned me up, the only noise being my hiss every once in a while when the alcohol burned. 

After she finished, she cleaned it all up.

"You have some free time until your father comes home."

"Can I have my phone?" 

She thought about it for a second before nodding and disappearing into the master bedroom, coming back out with my phone. I gave her a smile before running up the stairs, and dialing Lewis. I sat on the edge of my bed as it rang, praying that he picked up.

"Lu?"

I breathed out, trying not to cry again. "Lewis.." 

"Oh thank God. Are you okay?"

I looked down at my knees, knowing that if I told him, there would be issues. I would get out of here but then... what would happen to Charlie and Arty? I shook my head. "I'm okay, did you figure everything out?" 

"I think so. There's something in Jules's will about it but the lawyer won't tell me. We have to wait to the funeral." 

"Okay, that's... that's tomorrow." 

"Yes, Nico and I are leaving for the airport right now-"

"Hi Lu!" 

I smiled as I heard Nico, my heart swelling for a second. "Hi, Nico." 

"I'll see you in a few hours, just. Stay safe until then. I promise you that everything will be okay by the end of tomorrow."

I nodded, saying my goodbyes. I sat there for a second, reading the messages that were sent in that time. Mako was still texting me and I wondered if Charlie had said anything to him. It didn't look like it from the messages but I couldn't know unless I asked. And Charlie wasn't speaking to me, so there was no way of knowing. 

I bet he would tell Father too. Which meant more trouble and then- I didn't want to think about that. I just needed to get through today and then I would be free. I just needed to get through today and tomorrow. The funeral. That's it. I could behave long enough for that. Jules needed me to. 

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a/n: shorter but a harder read, enjoy it. tissues are here and therapy bills go to my PO box. as always, love it or don't :p