"A Few Thoughts & A Dictionary"
My father once shared an observation with me which I'll never forget. I'm pretty sure it's because the observation itself, while incredibly truthful, was unbelievably morbid.
In three generations, nearly everyone is forgotten.
I thought about that for quite some time, trying to figure out a way to negate the statement, but the more I wrestled with the notion, the more I realized its accuracy.
Think about it—how well did you know your great grandparents? Did you know their full names? Their favorite colors? If they were pickers, grinners, lovers, sinners?
These questions began to terrify me, not because I'm worried about whether or not the impression I leave on this planet will be permanent or temporary, but because I started to think about my father—my teacher, my best friend, my hero.
I cannot let him disappear.
There are moments when I lose my grip on reality and think, at any moment, he'll walk through the back door, chiming his own distinct "Hey, hey!" before taking a seat at his desk and continuing his virtual quest, bestowed on him by a certain MMORPG. He would then proceed to inhale sharply at seemingly random moments, wincing at near defeat and tapping twice on the desktop after a victory. I would chuckle; He would smile.
"Snap!"
— Reality
At this very moment, I sit in the farmhouse I inherited from him with a few thoughts and a dictionary. Last November, I began writing Chlorine Halos because I needed an outlet—an escape, a distraction, a foothold. The world had recently cracked, along with most of my mind and all of my spirit. I was lost.
But then, I wrote a sentence which changed my life: "I can't say how it all ends, but this is how it began..."
If this story ever reaches bound pages, the words on the flyleaf will serve as a promise to my father.
No, sir. You won't ever be forgotten.
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