Thirty-One: "𝘾𝙖𝙧𝙚."

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"The closest thing to being cared for is to care for someone else."

- Carson McCullers

I really am an idiot

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I really am an idiot.

It's very, very cold and I forgot the one thing I always bring. Our hoodie. And now I'm shivering. My phone buzzes with a text from Raf, telling me that he and Jan will be waiting outside. I send him a dancing penguin emoji to let him know it's fine.

Taking a deep breath, I wander further into the area, hoping that I can find who I'm looking for without any trouble. It's kind of scary- considering that it's almost midnight.

My mind races with different possibilities. What am I even going to say? Am I gonna freak out last minute? I can't. Not when he's involved.

My cold arms wrap around my form as I make my way through some long grass. This place is probably beautiful during the day. Only he would do so much. Apologising to one of the flowers I step on, a deep sigh of relief escapes me as I reach my destination safely.

"Hi, Emily!" My voice comes out as a whisper since I don't want to disturb anyone. Well, it's not like they can be dist- never mind.

Some dust wisps away with the prominent breeze, a beautifully carved gravestone appearing.

Iɴ Lᴏᴠɪɴɢ Mᴇᴍᴏʀʏ ᴏғ
EMILY MILLER

ᴛᴏ ʟɪᴠᴇ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛs ᴏғ ᴛʜᴏsᴇ ᴡᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ɪs ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴛᴏ ᴅɪᴇ.
Bᴇʟᴏᴠᴇᴅ Mᴏᴛʜᴇʀ, Dᴀᴜɢʜᴛᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ Wɪғᴇ.

A hoard of feelings rush through me, my throat clogging up. Taking a deep breath, I let out whatever I mentally rehearsed in the car.

"I know we've never met, but I miss you. I'm sorry we had to meet like this," I say awkwardly, my eyes wandering around the area.

There are lush, fresh and budding flowers placed all around the gravestone. It's secluded by the rest of the graveyard, being the one that looks the most lively. Beautiful red roses are placed on the flowerbed that rests in front of my crossed legs. The flowers look like they've been placed just this morning.

He has the biggest heart.

"I, I just don't know what to do." My fingers pick at some old leaves.

"I don't know what to do except ask you." Don't you dare breakdown in front of your man's mother, Maya. I suck in the potential tears, shaking my head to get rid of any weakening thoughts.

"Ask you to forgive him." A sniffle escapes me.

"You raised an amazing man. I'm so, so grateful that he has a mother like you. He's perfect. Dalaric- he's my everything. And he's hurting. He broke the promise he made you, the one about your other son. And it was because of me. You probably know this- wandering souls and all that." I mumble, am I being insensitive? Great first impression. Maya.

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