So the alpha is my mate

chapter 22

Numb. That was how I felt . Numb. My heart didn't hurt like I thought it would. I didn't feel that overwhelming need to get fresh air. Infact I felt like I was a passenger in my body, watching everything unfold. What's it called?, dissociation.
    My legs led me outside on autopilot. Where is kenji when I need him?. He never seems to leave me alone when I want him to. What happened now?.
I really need my best friend. I need him to help me process this. What if he's inside?. Silly me, of course he is . He probably went to the restroom or something. I should check .
With that thought in mind, I slowly turn almost bumping into Mika.

"Stay"
He said in a gruff voice. His wolf.
"Please.... Stay.... I'm..... Sorry" he continued
Stay?.... Please?
This wolf must be on some zaza
"Darlene" he stepped into my personal space.
Who gave him the right to do that. I took three steps back
"Stay? I should stay? Why? So that I can watch you parade her as your mate?" I asked
No response.
"Good" I said walking around him
His hands shot out stopping me
I looked at where he was holding me. I felt that place come alive . And finally I felt something in my heart and God it hurts . I looked up at him and he reluctantly let go
"I'm sorry"
Mika said... Not his wolf
"Save it you'll need it for later liar"
I told him harshly

**Alpha Chorro's pov**
Pain. Shame. Disappointment. Guilt. Hollowness. These things ate me from the inside. My wolf wasn't helping either, constantly sending his emotions to me . This is too much for me to bare.
I downed the glass of whiskey mixed with wolfsbane Claude gave me,  trying to drown those emotions.
Being a wolf is hard. Being an alpha is harder.

**Darlene smiths pov**
Everywhere. I've searched everywhere and I can't get a glimpse of kenji. Where the hell is he?
I'll call him. I thought bringing out my phone when Claude walked up to me.
"Dee where have you been"
"Everywhere" I answered with an internal roll of my eyes
"Care to dance?"
"Actually -"
"No she cannot?"
Mika rudely interrupted me
" Okay... Let's make something clear she cannot dance with me or she cannot dance ... Like at all?"
" Semantics "
He said coming really close. Close to the point that I could smell the alcohol on his breathe... And the wolfsbane too.
" Quick question I began has Mika already had the dance with his luna? " I asked
" Yeah and you missed it" Lisa says joining the conversation and subtly drawing Mika to her side.
Cue my internal eye roll
" Idea!! "I said in an over the top cheerful voice" I missed the dance of my favorite couple why don't we have our own,Claude is your offer still up? "
" Anytime baby"he winked
And I turned to the couple still smiling
" Great"
Lisa looked like she didn't expect me to do that while Mika had a hard look.
Losers.

We all moved to the center of the room with our respective partners, Claude and I , Lisa and mika and  Katherine and Benjamin.

Claude slowly put his hands dangerously close to my butt  and I was more than ready to smack him with a stern glare on my face to complete the action but I decided last minute not to ... Mika was already doing that for me and he was doing a pretty good job at glaring.

The music began and we slowly waltzed. I love classical music, I can loose my self in it. I close my eyes leaning into Claude and wishing more than anything that it was kenji and not him.I really need his warm hugs
"You good Dee"
He asked bringing me out of my thoughts
"What yeah I am why?"
"You look lost"
"Oh .. just missing kenji"
"Ohh ... Okay quick question is Mika glaring at us"
"Naa" I replied
"Ohhh ... Man I'm fucked it's probably all that alcohol I've been drinking"
I hummed as he spun me to my next partner, Benjamin
"You look lovely lady in white"
I smiled at the nickname
"Thank you kind sir"
I smiled at him to which he returned.
We both settled into a comfortable silence actually enjoying each other's company
We had another partner exchange and I ended up with Mika
"Dee-"
"Don't. I don't wanna hear anything you have to say"
He sighed deciding not to say anything. Good for him.
Rather he chose a different approach, staring.
The first two seconds were okay-ish but it got annoying rather quickly.
"Stop staring" I gritted . When will this friggin dance end .
"I will when you're decide to talk to me"
"I mean it, stop staring"
"No"
That's it. I've had it up to here.
I stopped our dancing putting a good six feet between us.
"Dee what's wrong"
I heard Benjamin ask. I guess they stopped too
"Oh um... I'm not feeling too well I think I'll go home"
"Okay lemme drop you off"
He volunteered
"No I'll do it " Mika said quickly... Too quickly if you ask me
"No I'm good I'll call a cab"
"I won't feel okay letting you go on your own "
He said
Save that concern for someone who actually needs it.
"Mika you have a mate go be with her and do what mates do I'll be fine don't worry about me... That goes for the both of you"  and with that I made my way outside. I could hear Lisa talking to Mika... Probably trying to talk him out of going after me and for once I was happy to have known her.

I pulled out my phone wanting to call a cab but decided last minute not to.
Walking seems like a good idea rn  so i pulled off my heels and began my trek home letting the chill air fill my lungs.soothing.

My home has never looked this beautiful to me. All I wanted was to run a bath. A hot bath to be precise and then get some sleep.maybe I'll wake up and it'll all just be a sick dream.
In my room, I close my door making sure to bolt it. My dad's not at home but we can never be too safe right?
I carelessly discard my clothes running to the shower.
I let out a sigh of relief letting the hot water soot my aching limbs and if possible my heart.
I'm surprised I haven't cried yet. I mean in romance novels and movies the girl usually cries when shit like this happens to her. This isn't good right. Am I coping in a bad way or am I bottling it up?.
With that thought in mind I drifted off to sleep in the tub.

I woke up about an hour or so because of how cold the water was . After unplugging the drain I made my way to the shower.
What I really like to use the shower after the tub .

When I came out I met the biggest surprise of my life.
Mika . On my bed . With.... My dress on his. Was he.... Sniffing my dress.
Brother nooooooooooo. That's unhinged and creepy.
"You smell divine sunshine" he said in a low rumble
Mika's wolf
I cocked my hip to the side with my hands folded trying to cover my chest but not actually letting him know that I feel weird and uncomfortable with him in my room when I'm in nothing but a towel
"Does Mika know of this?"I asked
"No.... He's too drunk to stop me"
That is why you should never drink as a wolf... It makes you loose control
"Why are you here and how did you get in" I asked with an eye roll and he was infront of me in two long strides
I tried my best not to move. Not to let his presence distract me
"To finish what we started and through your window" he whispered in my ear playing with a strand of my hair. I shiver ran down my body. I sucked in a breathe side stepping him and putting a good distance between us
" Leave... There is nothing to finish. It ended  when you chose Lisa "
" I did not ... Mika did"
" Semantics"
" Definitely not"
" Look mika-"
" I'm not Mika Dee I've never hurt you"
True but you cannot separate a wolf from it's human
" But you did "
" Then I'm sorry ... I apologize for what my human did to u "
" It doesn't make it better .... It doesn't make me feel better"
" Then let me make you feel better" with that he drew me closer pressing me flat on his body
" What the hell do u mean-"my eyes grew wide. Is he.
" Don't act like you don't know Dee it's glaringly obvious"he said pressing my lower half to his
" Let me go"
" I ain't ever letting go"he kissed my neck
" This is wrong and you know it "
" What's wrong with wanting to spend time with my mate"
" Everything is when you practically rejected me".
" I did not I'll never "
" It doesn't make it better "
" Then let me make it better"he said looking me in the eyes " let me me in Darlene"
I know I shouldn't. I know I should push him off... But I didn't. I couldn't.

Author's note:
Hey guys
Sorry I haven't been able to update
I've been busy with work plus I had a little bit of a writers block
I'm trying to figure out a way to balance work and writing
When I do figure it out I'll update... Hopefully it comes to me sooner than later
Till then take care and stay safe
Byeee