Chapter 49

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"I thought we'd be having sex more often

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"I thought we'd be having sex more often." Riley leaned over the arm of the couch.

Eran coughed and nearly dropped the book he was reading. He tried not to shake his leg. "I'd like to do it more, but I don't know if my body can handle it."

"I... I can be gentle..." Riley said defensively and pouted.

"I didn't mean you aren't gentle..." Riley responded with a questioning look, so Eran continued, "I just don't know if I could keep up with you..."

Riley looked exasperated. "You're still in your twenties. Why do you talk like that?"

"...Because you're still in your teens." There was a moment of silence on both their parts. Then Eran whispered, "I'm afraid you'll get tired of me."

"That's impossible." Riley came to sit down beside Eran. "You remember on my birthday when I asked you not to be negative for the whole day? I think you should try that on a regular basis."

Eran countered, "Remember on my birthday when I told you not to call me cute?"

Riley laid his head on Eran's shoulder. "I see where you're going with this... but... it's totally not the same thing."

"You're heavy."

Eran's phone sounded, notifying him of a message. Riley took it off the table and handed it to him. The message was from Elias: 'I'm curious if Riley is going with you next week.' In the years before there was no chance of Eran forgetting about Jamee's memorial day. In the years before he wasn't spending all his time with someone. He wondered if Elias knew that and sent the text as a reminder.

"I need to go to my parents' next week," he told Riley.

Riley was quiet. Finally, he said, "What do you want me to do?"

Eran looked at Riley and thought. Should I bring him with me? It's not like I'd introduce him to my parents, so there's no point. Wanting him near me isn't a good enough reason. And if I brought him with me, I'd have to get a hotel which would hurt my parents even more, when I've constantly hurt them over the years. Maybe I can make it a day trip. That wouldn't be fair to my parents either.

"Well," Riley interrupted his thoughts. "Just tell me when you decide." He stood up and walked away.

Eran typed Elias a reply: 'No clue.' He stared at it but didn't hit Send. If I introduced him to my parents, they'd be shocked. Not only is Riley male but he's also a high school student. I'd come off like a perverted criminal. They'd think they've failed me. He sighed. Wait... I can go without Riley easily. I've gone alone for the past six years. It's not like I suddenly can't go by myself.

Riley came and sat back down beside Eran. "Stop studying and let's play a game."

"I'll go by myself. Just stay here and wait."

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