Freaks

Chapter Thirteen-Lights, Camera, ACTION

(I've had this chapter finished since yesterday and I was wondering why my notifications weren't spiking up and I realized I forgot to post it. Sorry guys! Anyways, in this chapter I think you guys are going to be a bit conflicted and angry—but remember—she loves Jackson. You can't just get up one day and leave a relationship you've had for years. It takes a long time to gain the courage to leave your abuser so please be sympathetic with my girl. She's not stupid, she's stuck.)

As the words left my lips I felt a realization hit me like a pile of bricks. I didn't actually mean what I said..or did I? To some extent I did, however at the same time it felt as if I were just saying I love you back because it was the right thing to do. It felt scripted and unnatural. It didn't feel like the way it used to. It didn't feel like the first time, in fact it felt like I was just some actress set to pay a role with a completely uninterested male lead who I had no chemistry with. We were like an old romance film–predictable and dated.

I sighed loudly and stared out the window. I closed my eyes. I just wanted to go away from this mess that had become my life. I wished everything was back to normal. I wished that my parents were honest with me. I wished that this mess with Rose was me trying to put two completely unrelated pieces together. I wished Matthew was a good guy and he wasn't some psychopath who poisoned gum.

But most of all. . .I wished that I never met Derek. Derek was complicated—like a code that I couldn't decipher—almost like a puzzle that I couldn't fit anywhere. He was confusing, unpredictable, and made me feel something that I didn't fully understand. Deep down I felt that I had known him for thousands of years, as if we hadn't just met a week ago. He wasn't some random dark and mysterious boy. He was someone more than that and for some reason no one could accept that—and because of that I was allowing myself to blame him for my problems.

Or was I?

Was Jackson right? Was this just me being some type of a tramp who wanted to switch from brother to brother?

The very thought made me want to punch myself. I knew the truth and now I was just lying to myself. Derek was someone that made me feel alive for once. I felt like he had taken a blind fold of of my eyes and allowed me to see clearly for once. I felt like he had given me a knew lease on life and I let Jackson take that away from me. And I sat in the car next to Jackson in his dar, wondering why I had decided to leave Derek standing dumbfounded next to his car, I realized that it wasn't him that caused this mess. It wasn't Jackson either. It was something that I didn't know about. There was something deeper than some sibling rivalry that could cause Jackson and I to become. . .something that I didn't recognize. And right now, the only person that I could turn to for the truth was Derek–because as much as I wanted to believe that Jackson and I could move past—whatever the hell that happened between us—it wasn't possible. We needed to stop and reflect. And although it would be the hardest decision I would have to make in my life, I knew that it was inevitable.

We needed a break.

(About two hours later)

I don't know when, but somewhere along the ride home I had fallen asleep. I opened my heavy eyes as Jackson was carrying me up the steps into his house.

"...Why are we here..?" I murmured sleepily. "I want to sleep..."

"Sorry I didn't mean to wake you sweet heart," he began. "I just thought it would be easier to just let you stay here for the night, otherwise you'd be alone. Our parents called while you were asleep.." he explained as he carried me up to his room. "They won't make home tonight, this way at least you won't be alone." He said as he pushed open his door. "Sit up." He commanded as he seated me onto his bed. I felt him begin to unzip my dress as I leaned onto him.

"No, stop it.." I mumbled still in a state of sleep. His ice cold hands felt like snow gliding down by bare back. "I don't want to.." I said a bit louder.

Jackson chuckled. "Bridgette I'm just making sure you don't fall asleep and ruin your dress, you can keep it on if you'd like."

"Oh," I giggled in embarssment. "Go ahead," I replied raising my arms so he could put a tshirt over me. I felt far too tired to do anything. I had hardly gotten an sleep in the past week. Soon enough he had tucked me into his covers and placed a kiss on my forehead. He was about to leave when I grabbed his hand. "Stay.." I whimpered.

"Bridgette, I need to change."

"No, sleep with me.." I whined sleepily.

Jackson chuckled. "Fine. But then I'm sleeping with just my boxers."

"Mmm...tasty."

"You won't remember any of this in the morning and I'm actually really upset about that. I can't use it against you." He laughed crawling into the covers with me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close. "You're so warm." He whispered lowly as he tightened his grip around me. I quickly pressed my cold feet against his warm legs and he hissed. "Gosh dang it this is why I hate sleeping with you!"

I giggled lazily before I drifted off to sleep. I was exhausted and his arms around me helped me feel safe enough to drift off.

(Morning)

I woke up the next morning feeling completely well rested. I turned around with a smile on my face that faded once I realized the Jackson's side of the bed was completely empty and only a small note rested on top of his pillow.

'Woke up early. I already showered so feel free to go ahead and so feel free to shower and do whatever you'd like in the bathroom until I call you to come downstairs. I left you some clothes and a toothbrush inside. Don't come down any sooner..I've got a surprise for you! Love, Jackson'

(A/N writing all of this sucks like for real I hate Jackson just as much as you guys. And the worst part is that this entire scene was supposed to be with Derek but my head said nope.)

As I read the note I felt my heart skip a few beats. Jackson was so kind, so loving and caring–how could I try to tell him that we needed a break? I sighed and got of bed feeling like utter crap. I showered quickly and slipped into the clothes Jackson had left for me. I looked in the mirror in disgust. The bruise on my face was nearly gone. However, if wasn't the bruise that made me grimace. It was myself. I felt like trash in the beautiful dress Jackson had given me. He was so good to me—too good to me. How could I tell him that I needed some time away from him? How could I be so cruel to a person?

I looked away and shut the lights off before leaving the room. I made my way down the stair case and into the kitchen where Jackson stood hovering over a table full of food.

"Jackson?" I asked as I walked in slightly confused. "What are you doing?" I asked as he turned around.

"I made you breakfast," he grinned trying to take off his apron. "It's me trying to say sorry." He smiled. "You look really beautiful." he grinned looking at me up and down.

I felt tears begin to pool on my eyes. He was so sweet, how could I even think about leaving him even if it was for a little while?

"Are you okay?" He asked edging closer towards me. "Bridgette, hey what's wrong?" He asked pulling me into his chest.

I sniffled. "Nothing. . ." I trailed off placing my hands around his neck. "I love you," I began. I stared at the purple spots on my forearm before I closed my eyes. He said never again, and he had proven he was sorry many times since. He loves you, I reminded myself. "I love you so so much."

Jacksons POV

Stay tuned. Coming soon. Iam so excited for the next chapter OMG.

Love,
VintageAutumn