Sunnyside (a Sebastian Stan story)

Drop It

A/N: This is a chapter I've been reluctant to publish and have rewritten more than what's normal for me. It makes me a little nervous. I'm  so sorry *ducks and covers*

   

     There was very little on my to do list for that day. Work; check. Pack up Isabel; check. Watch Isabel ride off towards the horizon; check. Cry until my eyes actually hurt; check. So I began a neurotic cleaning of my kitchen to pass the time before Sebastian came over. Wiping furious circles along the counter again and again and oiling the cabinetry only half succeeded in keeping my mind off my sister and the knot of sadness currently taking up residence in my stomach. Sam had offered to take me out that night, but I just wanted to be with Sebastian. I was about to take an old toothbrush to the grout between the tiles when I heard the elevator slide open.

     I was across the large space in seconds, letting Seb's arms surround me and burying my face in his sweat-damp chest. I didn't even care that he was fresh from the gym, I needed to be held. He rested his chin on the top of my head and took in the scene before him. "Aw, Winnie. You were sad-cleaning."

     I nodded my head against his musky tee shirt.

     "Wanna talk about it?" He pushed me away from him to look me in the eyes and assess my expression.

    I walked to the couch, and threw myself onto it. "I just didn't want to say goodbye, that's all. There isn't much to say." This was a lie. There was a lot to say. Did I help her enough? Am I sure she's going to be okay now? How long will it be until I see her again? Why couldn't she have waited until morning to leave like a sane person? Who was I going to go to to talk now that she was gone? Sam? Seb hated Sam. Bonnie, of course, but I still wanted my sister.

     My feet were lifted and set back down on his lap, and he began rubbing slow circles into their soles. "I feel like that's not quite true," he sighed. "But we don't have to talk about it if you'd rather not."

     I pulled my arm down from where I had slung it across my face. "Okay, really, I just don't know where to start."

     "Start with telling me about your day. Did you enjoy your time together?" The rock of grief that was sitting in my stomach did a little flip, but calmed itself as I started to speak.

     "We did. Bonnie and Iz formed some weird instantaneous bond, and then we came home and finished packing. I took her out to grab a bite to eat before I let her leave."

     "Good. I'm glad her appetite seems to be better," Sebastian said. I silently agreed. She didn't look unhealthy, and was certainly getting better, but Isabel had been a very willowy version of herself when she had first arrived last week.

     I continued. "Then we sat on the curb for a little while and just sort of enjoyed physical contact with one another."

     "I'm sorry you have to go back to missing that." He was sincere. They weren't just words to fill empty space or to move the conversation along. I knew he meant it. He knew how much I was going to miss my sister.

     "I'm just going to have to make sure to check in with her more often. Make sure she's alright."

     "Is she?" he asked softly.

     "You know what? I wasn't sure until we went to Bonnie's today. But Bonnie told her about being in a similar situation when she was younger, and said some things about being single not being the same as being alone."

     "Is she adding motivational speaker to her resume?"

     "Maybe she should. Something sort of shifted in Iz. I could see it. And I feel like yeah, maybe things are going to be alright."