My Accidental NFL Boyfriend

            If someone really loves you, they’d come back. They’d come back and beg for your forgiveness on their knees, kissing your disgusting feet as you stare at them and slam the apartment door in their face. Romance, however, wasn’t this decade’s strong point.

            I was waiting for a huge confession from Caleb—the confession of how much he loved me even during his nerdy days. Just kidding. I knew exactly how he felt, and I had to forget about it. He was just a bump in my road of love. He didn’t matter, sure, he was famous and I was a lonely artist, but does a title really matter for love? Obviously he didn’t feel the same way. I could grin and bear it.

            All right, everything that I just said was a lie.

            My stomach hurt. My hair looked like it was a lion’s mane, and my eyes were smeared with a mix of mascara, eyeliner, and eyeshadow.

            I was curled up with ice cream in Kelsey’s bedroom watching titanic as she was out working her day job. Where is my Leonardo? Where did the entire gentleman species go? Oh, that’s right—back in the century they came from.

            Reality right now wasn’t in my favor. My home had been sold, my car had been repossessed, and the only person that housed me the past few days totally left me broken and battered. Guess I’ll go be a stripper now, because I sure as hell wasn’t going back to Caleb’s house to get my stuff. The day 2 hours ago went as follows:

            I went right into his house after we got home, threw together a duffle bag, slapped him, and stole one of his expensive cars, which was sitting in the driveway of the unsuspecting Kelsey. I had used the key under her fake rock to get in—she had the rock there because many, many, and I mean MANY times she lost her keys when she was hammered. My phone had rung about 50 times, probably Caleb asking for his car back, but I smashed it against the wall leaving a dent and a shattered iphone before I picked up. Take that asshole!

            Why was I sitting here?

            I get up off of Kelsey’s bed, leaving the icecream and crying Rose to herself.

            I didn’t deserve to wallow in sadness.

            I realize exactly what I was going to do. Down to New York City I go. First I needed to shower, borrow a slutty outfit from Kelsey, and use her Mac makeup and away I’d go. Find some perfect businessman that will worship me for my personality and will look past my face. Who needed an egotistical, bigheaded dick that was filled with steroids and probably had a small wee wee.

*

Caleb’s POV

             Coach looked at us right in the eye, “This is the last day I’m being slack with you guys.” I looked at Alex who refused to look at coach, and thought the floor was the most interesting thing in the world.

            “If you bring one more STD ridden hoe in the locker room after the game I will behead you all and send you to the news station.”

            “Okay coach,” we say in unison.

            “Now, you’re all invited to celebrate in New York City today—I expect you to abstain from girls until after the party, all right? It’s at a nice restaurant, wear nice clothes. No stupid ass gangster attire or I’ll make you sit out next game. This is the dinner before the biggest game we’ll have against the Giants and I expect you to act like good little boys.”

            “Yes coach.”

            “You’re dismissed, take showers you dirty man whores.”

            “So Alex,” I joke, “I wonder what New York model we’ll get this time.”

            “What happened to Jay, dude?” Nathan asks.

            “YEAH, she wasssssssss fine. I mean, if you’re done with her I always like em feisty,” Daniel swoons.   

            “Shut up assholes, she’s insane. I mean, she said she was in love with me—hah, how pathetic.”

            Alex rolls his eyes, “You’re ridiculous. You think of no one’s feelings.”

            “Amen,” Jacob says.

            “What about a girl?” Drake asks, smirking, “I love a good chase with a girl that thinks she’s in love. I love making them fall right on their asses out of it.”

            “You won’t touch her,” Caleb says, “besides, she stormed out today. That’s why my cheek is red.”

            “SHE SLAPPED YOU?!” Brendan roars, his laughter echoing throughout the lockerroom. “You’re a wussy, man. You didn’t stop her?”

            “She’s not even that hot. She also stole my car.” I shrugged. I’d get my car back even if I had to pull her struggling figure out of it; it didn’t concern me much because she wasn’t the brightest or strongest there was. I could figure where she went without really breaking a sweat. She probably didn’t have that many friends anyway, as cruel as it sounded.

            “Her anger turns me on,” Drake says, licking his lips suggestively.

            “Shut up Drake,” I say.

            “Someone’s a lil upset, my poor buddy’s in love?” Nathan jokes.

            “Hell no. I’m getting laid tonight.”
            “By Jay?”
            “Not touching her with a 7 foot pole, you guys can have her if you’re so interested.”

            “Well, I’m going to shower,” Alex announces, “you’re all ridiculous.”

            “Wow, sooooorrrryyy Mr. Committed relationship,” we yell after him. He had been with his girlfriend—well, now his fiancée—for about 11 months. They met after a game when she tripped down a half of flight of stairs and fell right into him. It was love at first sight.

            Well whatever. I wasn’t Alex. I mean, there were many fish in the sea right? I didn’t care about Jay. I didn’t even care if she had another boyfriend. I could have Megan Fox if I wanted.

            “You’re in love, dude,” Brendan says, just before the showers turn on.

            In love? What did it even feel like to be in love?

*

OK I’M STOPPING SHORT SORRY SORRY SORRY. I have a big chapter in store for you. I have something I want to do now; but I got to think about how I’ll be able to make it plausible.

VOTE, COMMENT, FAN! You’re all fantastic—5,000 votes? I never thought I’d get over 100. LET’S GET ON THE FIRST PAGE OF ROMANCE? (; Sorry it's been taking me longer to update---I'm trying to find the perfect way to continue, or end, the story. BUT OMG- THe support I got was unreal. Thank you so much everyone. You're perfect.