Chapter 25: Stubble

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PLEASE READ THE SHORT NOTE BELOW, MY CHILDREN.

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"We all know the heirloom they're trying to steal is Fico's little Fico–or in this special case, HIS BIG FICO!"  chrisrocks247 exclaimed, when asked what to say at the beginning of this chapter.

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Fico stared down at me, stared at my fingers held in a cross, stared at me, and then bent down and hauled me right over his strong shoulder.

"Hey!" I screeched, smacking my fists into his concrete back as he began to stalk to some destination. "Where are you taking me?! DYFS! HELP–!"

"You ruined a ten-thousand dollar dress. A dress that I had to offer to pay for in full. Now I have to get a check and fill it out."

"So you threw me over your SHOULDER? I'm not a flippin' Italian man purse!"

"You will not cost me another cent tonight," he said, as if that was a perfectly fine explanation.

"Damn you, Fücko! You big meaty... monster-man-thing! It's like dangling from a freaking sky scraper up here!" I hissed and beat on his back with one final note. Hell, it wasn't like any of his robots were going to help me, and I was too drunk to exert myself any further. Soulless Fico didn't seem to feel my fists against his back, too.

I became angry and stretched my fingers down the back of his pants and tried to give him a wedgie. However, I was too plastered to finish the job and got distracted by Fico's ass instead. Whoa. I knew an OCD guy like him wouldn't skip squats, but sweet pickles. He got a rump that deserves an angelic chorus...

"What the fück are you doing?" Fico used his free hand to reach behind his back and smack away my fingers from his belt. "Stop trying to pull on my underwear."

"I wouldn't have to yank on anything if you would let me down!" I dribbled a little on his shirt as I spoke and tried to wipe it with my palm. "Please let me down. Please. I'll be good, I swear. I'm sorry, okay? Promise... I didn't mean to call that cüñt a cüñt."

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