Turn Off The Dark (Frerard)

Part Thirteen

-Frank's POV-

I was stunned.

Gerard's cuts and scars laced up his arms, from his wrists all the way under the sleeves of his t-shirt, which undoubtedly he had meant to cover up and in his haste, it had slipped his mind. In my own mind, there was nothing I wanted to do more than to kiss his scars. Without another thought, I did exactly that.

Gerard stood motionless as I near cradled his left wrist, my eyes lidded, my lips against his self-mutilated skin.

I was familiar with Gerard's fear that he was a sociopath, as he never seemed to feel emotion.

So imagine my surprise when I reached his sleeve, and he burst into tears.

"Gerard!"

He stumbled a little, falling into me. I quickly released his wrist and tucked him into my arms, a bit difficult due to the fact that he was taller.

"I- I- I'm sor- sorry" Gerard sobbed heavily, hyperventilating, choking on his own sobs.

"No, no.. don't be. Don't be. Come here. Sit." I pulled on him gently, guided him to a ratty old couch.

He hit the seat hard, in a defeated sort of way. I sat down next to him, and Gerard launched himself into my arms, still in tears and babbling incoherently.

"Shhh. Calm down" I soothed, not knowing what else to say as I rubbed his back. I had to admit, as unfortunate as it was that Gerard was so upset, I was enjoying the feeling of holding him, of his warm body against mine.

It took no less than forty-five minutes for Gerard to regain his composure, and a full hour for his tears to stop flowing. His eyes puffy and his face splotchy red, I awkwardly let go.

"I'm sorry" he sniffled once more.

"Stop apologizing. Gerard.. look, we're friends. Why do you do this to yourself?" I began to trace the lines of his scars again. Most were slightly white or light brown, barely there, but others were angry red. New. Gerard shook his head.

"It's.. Comfort. Compensates for the human race h-having to deal with me." Gerard shifted. Was it my imagination, or had he shifted towards me, just a smidge?

"So you hole yourself up, then punish yourself for nothing? Where's your logic?"

"There isn't any."

This time, I made a fraction of a movement in his direction. He didn't object.

I was sure I was the only one who could practically taste the tension in the air. One could slice it with a knife, as far as I could perceive. How I wanted to hold him, make Gerard feel appreciated, loved, needed.

"You're worth so much more than that" I said softly.

"Thanks" he mumbled halfheartedly, and I knew he assumed I was lying for his benefit.

"Hey." I grabbed Gerard by the shoulders and pulled him to me, stroking his hair. "I'm serious."

Gerard remained stiff and awkward for a long moment. After realizing I wasn't about to let go, he relaxed a little bit, letting his hands rest on my back.

"I'm not used to.. feelings" was all he could make himself say. I pulled back just enough to meet his stunning eyes.

"I know, Gerard. But I'll teach you. You're not sociopathic. You'll see. There are emotions that suck- like loneliness and sadness. And you'll find some are beautiful, like happiness. Like love." Love? Goddammit, why the hell did I say that?

Nevertheless, Gerard smiled through tear-stained eyes and hugged me tight.

"Okay. Okay. I trust you. But only you." Gerard let me go and wiped his face.

Now that I had him calm, the wheels were spinning in my head. Perhaps there was someone else that could help me rehabilitate Gerard's poor, aching soul