Turn Off The Dark (Frerard)

Part Nineteen

-Frank's POV-

Pain. Oh, God. The pain.

I felt as of every part of my body had been set afire, flames licking my skin, pulling me down into oblivion, pain so intense that even opening my eyes seemed too great a challenge.

My ears picked up a steady beep, and I was absolutely sure I was in a hospital.

Then I remembered. Gerard. The boy I liked so much had made an attempt on my life, just like he had on his own brother.

I did my best to crack open my eyes.

The room contained two identical beds. In the other bed, about a foot away from mine in the cramped room, laid a passed-out Gerard. Mikey sat in a hair at the end of his bed, face tear-streaked and exhausted.

"They really had to put us in the same room?" I groaned.

Mikey looked up. "Hey, you're awake. Yeah, they said they were short on rooms because of a big highway pileup or something.. and uh, Gee's heavily sedated. He won't be bothering you."

"What the hell happened in his head?" I asked, closing my eyes again.

"He.. hears things. Says he has this 'inside voice' that tells him to do horrible things.. to himself and others. It's why he's always cut himself off and kept secluded from the world. The real him doesn't want to hurt anyone, I know it. This is only the second break he's had. I know he's dangerous. But he's my brother." Mikey's voice gave away that he was crying. I didn't want to upset him further, but I had to know.

"Did Gerard manage to stab me?"

Mikey heaved a sob and my eyes snapped open.

He turned his head toward me. "That's just it. He fought back against his psychotic side, and before he could hurt you, he turned the knife and stabbed himself instead."

----

Gerard was kept sedated for another day before he woke up at all. When he finally did, he was loopy out of his mind from the sheer amount of medication, and of course, Mikey wasn't there.

"O- ohey, Frankie! Wow, it's bright here." Gerard giggled loudly and kicked a foot.

"Heh. Yeah." It was extremely awkward, how I could be so attracted to someone, and then have them attempt to murder me, only to sacrifice themself at the last second.

"H- hey, why we here? Frankie. F- frankie, why's my tummy feel ouchie?" Gerard turned on his side to stare at me with big, dilated eyes.

"You got hurt." I turned away. I knew he wasn't aware of what he was saying, but I was still upset, and certainly had a right to be.

"Frankie. Fraaaankie."

I ignored him.

"..Frankie?" Gerard's voice was a desperate, lonely whine.

"Yeah," I stated.

"Hold my- hold my hand?"

I turned back over out of surprise, and saw that he was serious. He looked scared, and was extending a bandaged arm across the barely-there space between our beds, wiggling his fingers.

"Gerard-"

"Frankie, Frankie, pl- please. Please?" he begged. My heart ached for him, despite everything- overmedicated, trapped in his own head, and absolutely terrified.

"Shhh." I reached across and took his warm hand, lacing my fingers through his.

"I wanna go home." Gerard's eyes filled with tears.

"I know, I know. I want to go home, too, Gee. We'll go home soon. I promise. We can watch movies. You'll be happy. Okay?" I babbled anything that sounded halfway comforting, hoping he would buy it.

Gerard inched closer to the side of his bed so he could let his arm hang, closed his eyes.

"Happy?"

"Happy. Promise." I squeezed his hand.

Gerard fell asleep like that, holding my hand. Eventually, I succumbed to sleep as well. Holding his hand.

----

The next time he woke up, Gerard was sober, but he didn't let go of my hand in spite of that.

For a very long time, we laid there, hands connected, staring at the ceiling, not saying a word.

"Words.. Can't.. Express.. Just how sorry I am."

I let his words hang in the air for a minute or so before I replied.

"It's crazy that I still like you. And it's crazy that you stabbed yourself."

Gerard sighed and we simultaneously glanced at each other.

"I felt my own control return for just a second, and I took the opportunity. Better me than you."

"Don't say that." I squeezed his hand, hard. Gerard smiled wryly.

"I'm sorry. You'll never have to see me again when we're out of here" he promised, but I immediately shook my head.

"Oh no, oh no. No no no. You're not going to run away from me like you did Mikey. I'm okay, and this won't happen again. Right?"

"But Frank-"

"Right?"

Gerard sighed again. "Right."