Turn Off The Dark (Frerard)

Part Eighteen

-Gerard's POV-

To be entirely honest, Frank's story didn't surprise me. Saddened me, yes, but not surprised. Based on his mannerisms, it was fairly easy for me to tell that his home life was no walk in the park. Or maybe I'm just that intuitive.

However, I was surprised by the admission of his homosexuality. I had not for one second suspected Frank was anything but straight. To find he was gay, well, suffice to say it was a mild shock. But I didn't say anything in regards to it. It wasn't the time, and he needed to pass out. In the craziness, I'd forgotten how upset I was with him taking my blades.

(So this one's a fag, huh? Knew it. Had him pinned for one since the minute he started checking you out.)

"Stop" I said. Mikey looked up.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing." I waved him off. After giving me a concerned look, he turned back to the kitchen.

(Fag took the razors and you're not even gonna do anything? Wimpy bitch. C'mon. Kick him while he's still down. He can't fight you.)

"That's enoUGH." My voice raised halfway through the word and Mikey's shoulders tensed.

"You're hearing it again."

I didn't deny his statement.

"You have to keep it under control, Gerard. The same voice that told you knifing your brother would be fun will want Frank dead too. If you like him as much as your constant staring gives away, you need to be careful" Mikey continued.

I didn't deny the dig about liking Frank, either. Why bother, since it was true? "I'm okay. I'm fine. I can handle it, Mikes, I promise."

Mikey finished whatever he was making and came to stand in front of me. "I hope so. Let's not forget what happened last time."

Mikey lifted up his shirt and I winced at the scars on his flat stomach, scars I had inflicted. Four stabs and one long slash nearly all the way across his lower belly in an attempt to eviscerate. I looked away, my skin crawling.

"I'm just saying." Mikey covered himself again, gently ruffled my hair and went back to the kitchen.

(Fucker. Should've gotten the job done right on that one when we had the chance.)

I ignored the voice the best I could, but it gave me a very hard time sleeping. Even while cuddled up to Frank.

----

When I woke up Frank was already awake and watching slightly static-y tv. Mikey, being a real person in the real world, had a job and therefore was already gone.

"You took my blades" I said out loud. Frank turned down the tv's volume.

"I did."

"I need those. I know you think you're doing me a favor but you don't understand." I said.

(Get angry!)

"I understand that you're just going to use them to hurt yourself, Gerard, and I'm not about to-"

"No, you don't fucking understand at all." I sat up.

(Knives are in the kitchen. Just a suggestion.)

Frank looked at me. God, he was so bruised up. "I think I understand enough. And I'm not letting you hurt yourself-"

Something in me snapped.

"You don't fucking KNOW me! You don't fucking KNOW what I need to do, what I'm capable of!" I was on my feet.

Frank blinked. "You're acting crazy, Gerard-"

"Oh, CRAZY?!" I laughed maniacally. "You think I'm CRAZY?! Motherfucker I'll SHOW you crazy. You think I can't do shit without razors?" In three long strides I was into the kitchen, turning on burners, sifting through drawers.

"Gerard-"

"Shut UP! Fucking SHUT UP!" I grabbed my set of knives, started throwing them, sticking them in the wall.

Frank was absolutely petrified, I knew, but it was as if I was seeing everything I was doing through a veil. It was out of my control.

(I win again.)

I held my hand in the burner flame, cackling at the delicious pain as Frank screamed.

With my free hand I seized a knife from the wall and proceeded to stab it into my own leg, eliciting an even more shrill scream from Frank. He dove for his phone, undoubtedly to call 911.

"GO AHEAD. BITCH TO THE COPS. YOU CAN'T FUCKING STOP ME, FRANK!"

The menace in me had won. He had total control, knife in my unburned hand.

With a sudden movement, with my real voice inside screaming no, I lunged at Frank.