Chapter 10 - Dear Valerie

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"Dear Valerie," I read aloud, my voice trembling with adrenaline. "I know it has been years since I've written to you. I want you to know that this isn't because I haven't been thinking of you, but because if I kept trying to contact you, you would push me away further. But now you're eighteen... well it's hard to believe how fast the years pass by. I'm sure you're the beautiful woman I imagine in my head.

"You're probably wondering why I'm writing now. Well, aside from missing you every single day, I wanted to ask you something important. Something I'm sure you're not wanting to hear about. You're my daughter, as much as you may not want to be, and what I'm going to tell you is so important to me that I want you to keep an open mind.

"As you know, Mark and I have been together for ten years now, and engaged for seven of those years. I've been putting off the marriage date, hoping you will come around and support me on the day. But I can't wait forever, Valerie. I can't keep waiting for you to forgive me. So I'm writing this letter, asking for you to please make it to our wedding. The date is set for July next year, I know you'll be heading to Uni and so I hope that you'll be nearby the city then. It would mean so much for you to attend.

"Aside from my plea, I also wanted to wish you and your father a merry Christmas. I think of you every day, and truly believe there will always be something missing in my life as long as you're not talking to me. I'm always proud of you Valerie. Love Mum."

Maisie was silent on the other end of the phone, I could almost hear her chewing her fingernails in thought.

"Wow."

"Yeah. Wow."

If only it wasn't Boxing Day and Maisie wasn't travelling hours away to her grandparent's house. That way I could just go to her house and vent for hours. But we didn't have hours, we only had a small phone call before she was out of phone signal.

"I just can't believe that she chose to write now, and she's just trying to guilt me into going to her stupid wedding. I think she's forgotten who started all of this not talking business."

When she'd first left, my mother didn't contact my father and me for almost a year. She claimed it was because she couldn't face Dad after she'd fallen in love with another man, but she was just weak. She was a coward.

She'd feebly tried to make contact every few years, through a phone call or a letter stacked with cash. She'd even added me on Facebook, expecting me to accept her and automatically be 'friends'. But how could I do that? Why did she think it was okay to just jump in and out of my life?

"I'm so sorry Val, if I'd know I wouldn't have gone today."

"Don't be sorry," I told her. "You'll hear all about it when you get back tomorrow."

I had been too scared to open the letter until this morning. No, not scared; irritated. Even though she wouldn't know, if I could put off the letter like it was nothing to me I could pretend I was still in control.

"Did you tell your dad about it?" Her voice was small, and crackling slightly. I pulled the speaker of my phone closer to my mouth as a gust of wind stirs up loose sand and dry seaweed on the shore.

"Well, he probably knows about the letter. Unless he just assumed it was from one of our relatives, but the address is kind of hard to miss," I sighed. There was no way I could confront him about the wedding.

There was a series of beeps from the phone and a brief pause from Maisie before she spoke again ruefully. "I'm so sorry Val, I'm losing reception out here."

I mentally sighed again in hopelessness. Why was it that the one day I was in desperate need for her, she was leaving? "It's okay Maiz. Just call me when you get there, okay?"

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