saints | bts

004 » envy

football means soccer, not american football. let's all be politically correct and stop calling it soccer. thanks.

❝ —ENVY, like greed and lust, is characterized by an insatiable desire. Envy is similar to jealousy in that they both feel discontent towards someone's traits, status, abilities, or rewards. The difference is the envious also desire the entity and covet it. ❞

Jungkook never slept well without a dose of NyQuil, but his parents didn't know that. He tried not to be too dependent on it, even though he wanted so badly to be able to sleep through the loneliness of the night. Every other day, he opted not to drink the syrup. Every other day, he got no more than three hours of sleep.

He had a football game tomorrow night after school, and a pre-game scrimmage immediately after his last class let out for the day. There was no time for rest in between; exhaustion would probably eat him alive, but that was fine. He didn't expect to do what he loved without there being a few sacrifices, anyway.

On nights like these, he didn't like to sulk in his thoughts. He much preferred watching television, the volume set to just a whisper so he wouldn't wake any of his family up. Just because he couldn't sleep, he didn't have to take from the rest of others.

"Mass shooting at college fraternity leaves fourteen dead. More details at 5 with—"

Jungkook tutted and changed the channel, "Ah, there's so much sadness in this world."

He heard the bedroom door creak.

"Who's there?" He inquired instinctively. His older brother, in his tank top and basketball shorts, pushed the door open to reveal himself.

"Oh, it's just you hyung." Jungkook's heart sighed in relief, "Did my TV wake you up? I'm sorry."

"The TV didn't wake me up."

Jungkook's brows furrowed, he didn't understand.

"Then...?"

His brother entered the room fully now, his heels muted as they thud against the carpet flooring. Jungkook's eyes had adjusted to the dark, so he could see the fire burning in his eyes as clear as day.

"Jaewon, what are you—"

A fist to his jaw.

"Shut up."

His center of gravity was thrown off. He fell back into his mattress with a bounce, and got back up with a little dizziness.

"Hyu—"

"Shut up," Jaewon punched him again, "shut up, shut up!"

Jungkook struggled as his brother mounted him and gripped the fragile skin of his neck. It was useless. The young boy was unfairly outmatched by his brother's brute strength and boiling envy.

"Remember," Jaewon breathed with his brother squirming beneath him,"Remember how I used to be your role model, Kook?"

Hours ago, Jungkook would have never seen it coming. The Jeon family sat around a fair-sized wooden dinner table, chewing gratefully on their matriarch's cooking. Tonight was a bulgogi and jabchae night.

Often times when conversation wouldn't come around on its own, the boys' mother would ask about "the peach and the pit". The peach was the climax of the day, or something good that happened to you; The pit was the low point. Tonight was no different.