Sometimes, it's just not worth it.

Part Six

Louis sits on the floor against the wall opposite Harry's room after talking to Eleanor. He can hear Harry and Anne talking about something but he isn't concentrating enough to figure out what. When she walks out of the room, Anne notices Louis' emotionless facial expression straight away and slides down the wall to sit down beside him. They sit in silence for a few minutes before Louis takes a breath and starts to ask how Harry is when at the same time Anne is asking if he is okay. She motions for Louis to continue and he asks again.

"Oh he's fine, he's just getting some well needed rest. Now, how are you Louis? And don't you dare tell me you're okay, because I can see it in your eyes that you're not." It's freaky how well Anne knows him. He sighs and shuts his eyes for a brief moment.

"I ran into El..."

"Oh. Alright out with it, what did you do?" Her voice is playful and Louis smiles weakly.

"I'm not engaged anymore." Anne gasps, all playfulness gone as she looks at Louis. "No, it's okay," Louis continues when he sees the look Anne gives him. "We both decided it was for the best. We just weren't feeling it anymore." His voice breaks as he says it; saying it out loud has made it seem so much more real.

"Oh Lou..." She wraps her arms around his shoulders and pulls him into her side. He slumps into her and rests his head on her shoulder as she places a soft kiss on the top of his head, like his mother would. She holds him, not asking a thing and when Louis sits back up again, she watches him with a softened expression as he brings his hand up and wipes away the tears that had fallen silently.

"Thanks Anne, for everything."

"No problem love. Now, are you going to tell me why you ran out of Harry's room like that before?"

"Well, it's just that - Harry told me..." He trails off, not knowing how to break it to Anne

"What? Told you what?"

"That I'm the reason."

"Reason?" She tilts her head, looking at Louis confused.

"That he cuts. That he tried to off himself." Louis cringes at his choice of words, but his temper rises as he thinks of Harry's words. "You're the reason!"

Anne doesn't say anything, she just turns her head and stares ahead at the white wall across from her. Louis looks up at her, feeling uncomfortable in the silence that awkwardly fills the air. "Anne? Anne, please don't be mad at me, I swear I have no idea how I could possibly be the reason and Harry won't tell me anything."

"Louis," She sighs. "I'm not blaming you for anything." She doesn't say anything else, but she gets up and brushes the dust off of her jeans. "Talk to him, try and coax something out of him." And then she leaves, walking in the direction of the cafeteria.

Louis sits back against the wall and sighs as he softly closes his eyes. He doesn't realise he's fallen asleep until a nurse comes up and shakes his shoulder. He's startled awake and mumbles sleepily, "Harry?" before he looks up and sees the white uniform. The nurse looks at him with a sad look and offers him a hand, which he gladly accepts.

"Are you mister Tomlinson?" She asks.

"Yup, that'd be me." He yawns after, rubs his neck, regrets sitting against the hard wall.

"Mister Styles was asking for you. He wanted to know if you had left the building or not." Louis raises his eyebrows in surprise. Harry was asking for me? "Shall I let him know you're here or would you like to just go in?" Louis doesn't answer, which is quite rude and his mother would've given him a stern look if she was here, Louis just walks up and enters Harry's room.

"Lou? Is that you?" Harry's rubbing his eyes as he sits up, he has bags under his eyes and his cheeks are red and blotchy. Louis leans against the door and looks at Harry.

"Yeah Haz, it's me." At the sound of his voice Harry starts to sob, which really isn't fair because Louis is trying so hard to be mad at Harry but he just can't stand to see him like this. Louis walks over to the side of Harry's bed and removes the hair from his forehead. Harry looks up at him, big jade eyes filled with unshed tears and Louis' chest hurts. "God Haz," Louis sobs as he sits down on Harry's bed. "You are so frustrating." He hits Harry's chest lightly as he drops his head weakly.

"Lou-" Louis snaps his head up, staring right into Harry's downcast, guilt filled eyes.

"No! You don't get to 'Lou' me! I've always been there for you, all you had to do was come up to me and ask for help! You didn't have to be alone, I would've-"

"Would've what? Huh?" Harry scoffs as Louis' eyes turn down and he bites his bottom lip suddenly finding the bed sheets fascinating. "Yeah, that's what I thought. Louis, I've been... like this for over five years. A simple, 'I need help' wasn't an option. I didn't want help. I wanted you."

"Me? Why did you want me?"

"Because I love you, you idiot! But you have been to fucking blinded with your love life to realise it! I have been in love with you for three years Louis, three years. For three years I've hidden myself away in the bathroom or my bedroom and tortured myself because you didn't feel the same. For three years I've longed to feel you in my arms, your breath on my neck as we made love, the taste of your lips on mine, the burning sensation on my skin as you held me. I've wanted to hold hands with you in public, to hear the sound of your gentle snores as they lull me to sleep. But most of all, I craved to hear you say that you love me as much as I love you." Harry's eyes widen, realising what he just blurted out. But before he can get anymore words out, there's a pair of hesitant lips on his. They're chapped and chewed raw, but they're plump. They're firm against his mouth, however at the same time they're soft. It's over just as quick as it started and Harry just wants to pull him back in and kiss him until his lips are red and bruised, until he's out of breath. Until he has the taste of LouisLouisLouis forever on his tongue, until every bit of Louis' mouth is memorised and burnt into his brain. So that's what he does.

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