The ride home from the centre is a quiet one. The first 10-15 minutes are spent talking about little things like Louis’ family, how Harry coped with the hospital-like food being forced into his stomach, of course, Louis is more careful with his wording than this, and what has been going on at home. About 20 minutes into the drive, Harry falls asleep. Louis first notices the sudden slow, calm breaths. Then he notices the absent feeling of Harry’s thumb slowly rubbing circles into the back of Louis’ hand. When he’s stopped as the road is cleared of slush, due to the snowfall on the outskirts of Cheshire, Louis looks over and his heart warms at the sight.
Harry has his mouth ajar slightly, his curly locks have fallen into his eyes, but Louis can still see the fluttering of his eyelashes and he’s snoring softly, his breath coming out in short huffs. He looks so adorable, Louis just has to take a picture. He pulls out his phone, a small smile making its was on his face as he looks at his lock screen; a picture of him and Harry sleeping, taken by his mother when the two boys fell asleep at the hospital. A bit creepy, but cute nonetheless. He snaps a picture and smiles fondly before jumping at the sound of a horn coming from the car behind him. Sheesh, some people are just impatient. He looks at Harry once more, who hadn’t even flinched and accelerates. He arrives at Anne’s house and sees the Christmas tree lit up and surrounded by presents through the window. He unbuckles and hops out of his side of the car; wrapping his arms around himself as the cold air hits him like a ton of bricks, going around to Harry, opening the door slowly and unbuckles Harry’s seatbelt carefully.
“Harry…” Louis tries shaking him slightly, only getting a grunt in response. “Harry come on, it’s cold and your mum has been waiting to see you again.” With no response, he sighs and shakes Harry’s arm again. “I’ll make you some hot cocoa?” Louis tries and one of Harry’s eyes open.
“With marshmallows?” Louis chuckles, Harry was such a child sometimes.
“Sure, if Anne has any which I’m sure she does.”
“How about whipped cream?” He’s fully awake now, giving Louis the puppy eyes and pout.
“Don’t push it.”
“HARRY EDWARD STYLES! GET YOUR ARSE BACK HERE!” Harry screeches out a laugh as he runs away from a flour covered Louis. They’d just put a cake for Louis’ birthday into the oven when Louis turned around only to be gifted with a handful of flour hitting him right in the face. Bullseye, Harry had thought smugly until Louis looked up with an evil glint in his eye. Anne watches on amused, laughing along with Jay and Gemma as Louis chases after Harry, shouting profanities at him with a wooden spoon in hand, and flour all over his head and clothes. Of all days to wear black trackies. He smiles sheepishly at the women as he passes the living room and into the backroom.
He slows to a stop, looking around the room, trying to spot Harry’s unruly mop of curls. He doesn’t see him, he hears him. A quiet giggle, a manly giggle of course, comes from behind the couch in the corner. He walks up to the wall, hides the wooden spoon behind his back and looks down at Harry with a smirk on his face. “Gotcha.” He reaches out a hand, and Harry takes it cautiously, looking at Louis with a confused face. “So, apparently you think it’s okay to throw flour all over me and not be rewarded with this,” The wooden spoon hits Harry’s face, leaving cake batter splat on his cheek. Harry’s expression is almost comic, his eyes go wide and a total look of bewilderment as shock and acknowledgement of what just happened sets in.
“Louis!” Harry exclaims, setting off after him as Louis cackles and runs out of the room, beginning the chase once again.
Louis smiles as he sits on the floor with his legs crossed and opens his birthday presents later that night, after they’ve eaten the cake that he and Harry managed not to burn, God knows how. He unwraps the one from his mother first gasping as he sees the Apple MacBook Air inside. He hugs her and thanks her relentlessly. He grabs the next one, seeing that it was from Anne and Gemma. He tells them that they really didn’t have to buy him anything but he opens it regardless. He laughs when he sees the red Power Ranger mouse pad and gapes at both of them when three hundred pounds falls out of the card. Anne simply says that they didn’t know what to get, so he can chose and buy something himself. He hugs both of them, giving each a kiss on the cheek and laughs when Gemma pulls away feigning disgust.
It’s Harry’s present that gets to him the most. It’s a scrapbook; a large one, with a picture of the both of them on the front reading ‘Boo Bear and Haz’ in intricate lettering. He looks at harry, who’s smiling with big eyes as he watches Louis turn the pages laughing at the captions and the funny faces that both boys pulled over the years. It’s when he gets to the middle that he inhales sharply and his heart leaps into his throat. There’s a polaroid picture of the two of them at a younger Louis’ birthday; Louis is beaming happily at the camera with his arm around Harry. Harry’s full blown smiling, but he isn’t looking at the camera. He’s looking at Louis. The look Louis is unknowingly receiving is one of adoration, happiness and love. You can see Harry’s dimples clearly and his eyes are bright. This was the year before Louis met Eleanor and now, now he notices how happy Harry used to be, and he can’t help but feel disappointed in himself that he hadn’t noticed earlier. But it’s the caption - ‘This is my favourite photo :)’ and note beside the photograph that causes the tears to form.
Louis. Boo Bear. Do you want to know why this is my favourite photo? Well, this was before you met Eleanor, and it was one of the happiest times in all the years I’ve known you. I’m not very photogenic, I can never smile at a camera properly, but in this picture I, myself, think that I look genuinely happy to be there, to be on this Earth. I probably felt genuinely happy too. You made me happy Lou. You probably don’t want to know this, but the day we met, I was on my way to the pharmacy to buy a bottle of prescription pills and kill myself. That’s a really blunt way to put it, I know, but it’s true. You literally turned me around and saved my life Louis Tomlinson. And I am forever grateful. This is the last photo I’m going to stick in, for now. It’s time to forget the past and make new, happier memories in the future. Together.
Love,
Harry xx
Louis swallows thickly, looking up at Harry through blurry eyes. “Harry,” He all but whispers his name. Out of the corner of his eye he sees Anne motion to the others to quietly make their way into the kitchen. Louis tells himself to thank her for that later. He gets to his feet and walks over to where Harry was sitting on the couch. He shyly sits himself down next to Harry and uses his fingers to tilt Harry’s head up to look at him.
“I love you.”
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Sometimes, it's just not worth it.
Fanfiction"Why did you try to kill yourself?" "You told me you wanted me to be happy."
