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[Trigger warning: includes self harm.]

"Damn, it's nine." He said. "I'll drive you home. He gave me a look. "I don't want you to go through that much trouble." He said.

"Don't worry." I got into my car with Patrick. He gave me directions on where to go. It was fifteen minutes away from my house.

When I saw his house appear into view, I couldn't help but frown.

I pulled into his drive way. "I had a lot of fun." Patrick said. I bite my lip. "Me too." He smiled. "I see you tomorrow." He said. He looked me in the eyes. I blushed. He pulled me in by the back of my neck and kissed me.

A soft, innocent kiss, but still one to die for. He hurried and got out of the car. I watched him until I couldn't see him anymore.

I think I found my happiness.

The ride home was boring. The only noise was the radio. No small talk with Patrick. I already miss him. Hell, I'm falling for the new boy.

When I got home I saw my dad's car in the drive way. I get out and hurry inside. I slide to my room. I close my door and put in my Green Day CD.

The first track comes home and I hear my mother call me down. "Yes, mother?" she handed me a pill and a glass of water. "I don't want you falling asleep before you take this." I take it and down the water.

"Good night, sweetie." She said, stoking my hair. "Good night, mother." I say walking up the stairs. I turn my music up and lie on my bed.

Thoughts of Patrick filled my head.

He likes me. He actually likes me. I didn't think that he would ever like me.

I take a deep breath and drown in the music.

***

We were in the school parking lot. Patrick stands in front of me. I started to walk toward him until I see another girl walk up to him.

She grabbed him by the collar and started fully making out with him.

He's gay, plus he wouldn't hurt me like that.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed back with more passion.

Tears form in my eyes. I got to walk up to him but I couldn't move. My body refused to.

"Baby, please." I whisper. I start to cry uncontrollably.

He doesn't love me. He wouldn't never love me. What was I thinking? He's never going to love me.

***
I wake up in tears.

It was all just a dream.

I look at the clock. 4:38.

I let out a loud groan. I'm not gonna go back to sleep. Its impossible. I put my face in my pillow and sit there. I decide to get up and get dressed.

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