Chapter Seventeen

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"He what?!" Sam was steaming. You had refused to speak to anyone but Cas ever since you had gotten back, so Cas had told the brothers what you told him. Dean walked over to the cooler and retrieved two beers, handing one to you. You took it wordlessly, not looking at him but at your feet, shuffling them over the old wood floor.

Gone. The baby. Everything. You really didn't see the purpose of continuing anymore. But then your mind wandered back to Crowley, and a burning hot rage flowed through you, forcing you to remember your goal now. You would find him. And you would kill him.

You were shaken from your thoughts by Cas.

"Lets go outside," Cas said, his voice as gruff as usual. You nodded and stood up, setting your untouched beer on the table. Sam and Dean didn't follow, but started a hushed conversation. You frowned.

When you had walked outside with Cas, he grabbed your arm, spinning you around to face him. You tried looking away, but he lifted your chin, turning your head to look into his beautiful, mesmerising eyes. There was something about those eyes that made you want to spill all your feelings, but you refrained.

"You're not okay," He said. You snorted.

"What was your first clue?" You asked, resentment clear in your voice. Cas looked away.

"You can't harbour a need for revenge. It will destroy you," He said, taking you aback. How did he know about- oh. Mind reading.

"You have got to stop reading my mind!" You said, attempting to lighten the mood. Cas didn't recognise it, instead cocking his head.

"I wasn't reading your mind." You furrowed your eyebrows. "It's written all over your face. One does not need to be a mind reader to see that you're insisting on revenge," He explained. "I know how you feel, but you cannot give in." You huffed.

"No, Cas. You clearly don't know. I'm not an angel! I'm not what you think I am, or what you want me to be! I'm human! I'm alone! I'm-" Your voice broke. "I'm scared. And I can't just wipe these feelings away!" You wiped a stray tear that had fallen from your eye. Cas didn't say anything. You looked over to see Sam by the window, and you scowled. His eyes widened and he backed away.

Cas took your hand suddenly, looking into your eyes. "Can I show you something?" He asked. You shrugged and nodded. Suddenly you were in an unfamiliar place. Crumbling ruins scattered across dirt and bits of grass. The sky was a brilliant blue with very few clouds floating through it. The ruins didn't look Roman or Greek, but rather Indian, or some place similar.

"This is beautiful," You commented, the wind blowing through your hair like it was blowing through the grass. Cas nodded beside you.

"I have seen... entire empires destroyed, due to one person bent on revenge. It never ends well," He said, looking around at the ruins. His gaze met yours, and he continued. "Promise me you'll let these feelings go."

You thought for a moment, before a smile formed on your lips. "I promise."

You were lying.

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