Fractured

Chapter 25

Chapter 25

A line has been crossed.  One that I knew would happen at some point.  Just not this way.  And now... all I wanted was to cross that line a million more times. 

Clare broke something inside me.  A few bones?  Doubtful.  Something that lingered in my heart and only came to grow every time I was in her presence. I wanted to respond, fight, kill her and shred her to pieces until she can no longer be defined by the evil mess she is.  She doesn't deserve to be recognized, even as a horrible person.  No, she deserved to not be recognized at all and that would probably be the worst thing that could happen in her pointless mind.

I couldn't act on that for many reasons - the simplest one being that I didn't wake up in our house.  When I could feel my mind come back, enter a consciousness I was forced out of, it was a slow and gradual build until I felt okay to actually open my eyes.  I didn't want to for a while though.  I felt like I couldn't be in a better spot, wherever it was.  I was as comfortable as someone as sore as me could be.  I felt my head throbbing and heard the affect as if the sound of my own heart beat for a moment.  But when that faded, there were other little things that just made me want to continue to lay there - wherever there was.  Like my back.

As I laid there on my stomach, I noticed a faint sensation... of burning.  As if my entire back had been skinned and numbed, the feeling somewhat tingly; with the small zings of pressure running down my back, I internally groaned.   Fucking pain... the slight burning over my back and the stinging sensation of my face... all this will always be a distraction.  It will always keep me awake.  Yet too much will put you under.  It could just never work out for me it seemed.

Staring down the darkness of the back of my eye lids, I knew there was only so much time I could have until I would be forced to open my eyes back into the cruel reality from the pain over me.  Sleep was something very beautiful, I realized in that moment.  Something often taken for granted but honestly, what better way of escaping was there but through drowning without your guilt to stop you? 

I didn't want to open my eyes... it was too much of a monster for me to face when all I wanted to do was just... be gone.  Nightmares were the only thing that could hurt me in my sleep and at this point, I'd be happily willing to take that risk.  I didn't want to face what I knew was waiting for me as my thoughts started to come back to me, the memories of what happened, the drama.... So maybe if I were to just stay under, stay sleeping forever, I would never have to face all these problems.  It would be the perfect way out, the perfect escape rout.  It only can go so far though.  Because, eventually, the world will demand your presence in it.

I finally allowed my eyes to start to flicker through the sleep I still was craving but knew wouldn't last.  Especially when after my memories came back, no matter how much I would have rather avoided it, I wanted to know what happened.  I remember it... all too well really.  The last second of consciousness stuck with me through my point of oblivion.  The point of the blade, penetrating my skin as it had so many times before.  However, this time, it was used like never before.  She put it through my hand - all the way through my fucking hand.  The feeling... was almost impossible to describe.  Not because of the pain really.  Just the power I felt in her hand as she pushed that blade down.  With every second of her pushing the knife through was a second of me falling, becoming more weak, and her strong.

Finally opening my eyes fully and taking in the sight before me, my first guess was that I was in a hospital.  It made sense, first of all.  I could only hope this was an exception to reality because I wouldn't handle a hospital environment well at the moment.  I soon realized I was wrong though.  Upon opening my eyes, I found a fuzzy impression of the bed under me, of the wall on the other side of the room, and the furniture in the small room.  When my eyes began to clear through my blinking and sore eyes, I could see in more detail - and that included the fact that I was in a place I never was before.